


Where are you Tonight, Child?

by LeoDios



Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: AU - kids but no partners, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst at some point, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Dirty Talk, Eventual Everything, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, FC Barcelona, Football | Soccer, Hair-pulling, Leo pines for Ney!, M/M, Making Out, Masturbation, Phone Sex, Rimming, Skype Sex, because I just did, can you imagine such a world?, one-sided lust - or is it?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-06-10 13:28:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 40,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6958519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeoDios/pseuds/LeoDios
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Neymar made to move away after a few hundred photos had been clicked, Leo held on to him, pulled him a little closer.</p><p>"Alright," Neymar whispered, laughing, against his ear, "I'll stay."</p><p>He walked around with Leo, bodies pressed close together. Someone tried to get Leo's attention, and Neymar hung on to him, laughing as Leo tried to extricate himself from his hold. </p><p>"Don't abandon me," he cried, digging his fingers in and burying his face into Leo's neck.</p><p>This was the kind of thing Neymar did all the time. He also flirted with Leo shamelessly and openly adored and idolized him. This behaviour made their teammates tease them about each other all the time. But other than that? Leo had no idea what was on his mind. He couldn't very well ask, could he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello lovelies, yay for Barca winning the double this season! And what a final game it was! Here is the very beginning of my new Neymessi fic. I think it is going to be a long, slow one, but honestly I have very little idea where I'm going with this. There isn't much going on in this first chapter, certainly no smut of any kind (sorry!), and I think it will be a pretty slow build up to whatever it's going to be. I am just starting with the idea of Leo being into Ney, and being unsure about how Ney feels. Let's see where it goes!  
> Hope you all enjoy this, and please please let me know in the comments if you do (and if you don't!). MWAH!

Neymar jumped on his back, laughing wildly, clinging on to his shoulders.

 

"Hey," Leo said, smiling, stopping while Neymar slid off, "you're getting kind of heavy now..."

 

But Neymar was off jumping up on somebody else. Leo felt a little twinge, as he always did when Neymar wasn't with him, _on him_ , touching _him_. However, tonight was not a night to indulge any such feeling. Tonight was a spectacular night, in which the team had found reserves of strength and unity that they probably hadn't even realised they had. They had refused to quit when Masche had been sent off in the 36th minute. They had managed to fight through and win. How had they done it? Well this wasn't the time for those questions. So many people hugged him, touched him, ruffled his hair, as he walked through the crowd in a daze.

 

He saw Luis Enrique and walked towards him. Ran into him with a big, crushing hug. Leo had never seen the boss so excited, so emotional and so downright proud. Not even when they won the Champions League last season. This was special, Leo knew, because the team had shown heart. And this was what the boss valued above all else.

 

He noticed Luis a few feet away and went to him. He was smiling but his eyes were still a little red from before.

 

It felt good to be folded into Luis' big arms, in his tight embrace.

 

"That was a beautiful couple of assists Leo," he said, "send me one of those sometime eh, or are they just for Ney?"

 

"What?" Leo sputtered, backing away, "It wasn't even...it was Jordi who...anyway this season I'm pretty sure you've - "

 

Then he noticed Luis trying hard not to laugh and he shoved him playfully. And there was Neymar again, getting between the two of them, raising his phone to take yet another selfie. Leo wrapped an arm around Neymar's waist. Photographers noticed and came over, eager to catch the famous MSN together. When Neymar made to move away after a few hundred photos had been clicked, Leo held on to him, pulled him a little closer.

 

"Alright," Neymar whispered, laughing, against his ear, "I'll stay."

 

He walked around with Leo, bodies pressed close together. Someone tried to get Leo's attention, and Neymar hung on to him, laughing as Leo tried to extricate himself from his hold. 

 

"Don't abandon me," he cried, digging his fingers in and burying his face into Leo's neck.

 

This was the kind of thing Neymar did all the time. He also flirted with Leo shamelessly and openly adored and idolized him. This behaviour made their teammates tease them about each other all the time. But other than that? Leo had no idea what was on his mind. He couldn't very well _ask_ , could he?

 

On the plane ride back to Barcelona, Neymar sauntered over and asked Masche to switch seats. Masche didn't even bother saying anything. Just looked up at him, his face totally calm and expressionless.

 

"Pretty please?" Neymar grinned. But Masche was possibly the only person in the world not likely to be charmed by that grin.

 

Leo touched his arm gently. Masche glanced at him, shook his head, and stood up. He glared at Neymar as he went to his seat. Neymar giggled and sat down. He moved away the armrest between them and leaned towards Leo.

 

"Hey," he said, winking, crooked smile.

 

Leo's stomach lurched.

 

"Hey yourself," he murmured, "Why'd you piss off Masche?"

 

"Hmm? Don't you want to sit with me?" he said, pouting a little.

 

"Sure I do."

 

Leo looked away, from Neymar's pretty green eyes staring at him intently.

 

"So anyway," Neymar said, coming closer and leaning his head on Leo's shoulder, "exciting night, no?"

 

"Mmm hmm."

 

"You don't have plans, do you?"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"I mean, we should go out! No? I don't think I can sleep tonight. Still so pumped up!"

 

"I'm ready to pass out right now!"

 

"Don't be such an old man."

 

"I _am_ an old man."

 

"Oh come on. _Dani_ is going, and he's actually old."

 

"If anything, I should hang out with Luis if he wants to. I know he's feeling terrible that he might miss the Copa America."

 

"Oh _that's_ why he was so upset!"

 

Honestly, Neymar was such a child sometimes. 

 

"What about you? Are you alright?"

 

"Yeah," Leo replied, "I'm dead tired. It's true what they say about me, I don't run that much."

 

Neymar giggled, and his breath on his skin tickled Leo. He really liked that sensation, so he did the sensible thing and pushed Neymar off him.

 

"I'm gonna go talk to Luis," Neymar said, standing up. Then he suddenly leaned down and ran his fingers over Leo's temple, over the big bump he'd acquired clashing heads with someone during the match.

 

"Owww."

 

"Sorry," Neymar whispered, dropping to his knees. He placed his hands on Leo's knees and looked up at him.

 

For a couple of moments they both didn't say anything. Leo usually found some excuse to turn away, avert his eyes, but this time he was mesmerized by Neymar's suddenly serious eyes. And those full lips, slightly parted.

 

"You know what I really want to do?" Neymar asked, voice so low that Leo had to bend down really close to hear him.

 

"What?"

 

"I know I should be tired, but I'm so fucking buzzed. So you know..."

 

Leo could feel himself getting red hot. It's just that he was so pale that anyone could easily see when he was embarrassed. He hated that about himself. Neymar was still gazing up at him. He licked his lips. Then he stood up.

 

"So," he said, brushing his hand lightly over Leo's hair, "hopefully there's someone hot and crazy and enthusiastic at this club tonight. Let me know if you change your mind."

 

Leo stared at Neymar's retreating back, and willed his hard-on to fucking disappear.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, here is chapter 2. Still not much is happening, and I hope you all enjoy this nothing really happening scenario because that's kind of how it's going to be for a while. Thanks for all your kudos and kind comments so far, it's really encouraging. MWAH!

Leo didn't even get to his bedroom that night. He was so tired when he finally got home, that he passed out on the sofa in living room. It was still early, way too early, when a familiar laugh - a loud, hoarse and _irritating_ laugh - filled the room and woke him up.

Leo rubbed his eyes and resentfully opened them, to see Neymar bouncing around the room. Clad all in dark, skin tight clothing, he obviously hadn't been home yet. He came closer and sat at the edge of the sofa. He smelled of sex. Leo slowly came to the realisation that Neymar was actually demanding breakfast.

Leo struggled to sit up, immediately sliding back low down in the sofa. 

"Dani took me to this club, but it was way too classy a club," Neymar was saying, with no regard to Leo's general disgruntlement. 

Leo scoffed.

"I know no club is too classy for you."

Neymar laughed.

"It was. For what I had in mind."

"I don't wanna know."

Neymar's voice grew serious.

"I know you _always_ wanna know."

Leo sighed.

"I think it's more that you _need_ to tell me, than I _wanna_ know. But go ahead and tell me, if you must."

"Well, I was bored at this club so I called this girl I know and went over to her place. She lives near here actually. And I asked her to call a friend."

Leo rolled his eyes.

"Why do you keep pretending you like women?"

"Why do you keep denying that some of us like both?"

"Or, in your case, anything that moves."

"Besides," Neymar said, pausing dramatically for a moment, "who said her friend was a woman?"

Leo turned away, finding this last revelation to be a lot more disagreeable than the rest of the story. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered why.

"Didn't she have a shower at her place?" he asked, a little sulkily, wrapping his arms tightly around himself.

"Her place is not as nice as yours," he replied, without hesitation. Then he giggled and pounced on him, rubbing his body all over him. Leo squirmed and tried to get away but Neymar's next words made him go completely still.

"The guy was a lot like you," he said.

Leo wasn't sure his attempt to feign complete indifference was at all successful.

"Oh yeah? In what way?"

He was just curious, that was all.

Neymar stood up, but stood close to Leo, looking down on him.

"White as a ghost, muscular thighs, thick ass. Thick dick. Just what I like..."

Neymar's voice was low and breezy and, Leo realised with sudden alarm, sexy as hell. He was aware that he was blushing furiously. He forced a smile and put on his best "joking" tone.

"Are you trying to say something?" he said, trying to keep his voice steady, "You _want_ to? With me?"

Neymar didn't miss a beat.

"Oh Leo. I _would_. You know I would."

"But?" Leo asked, throat drying up painfully.

Neymar sat back down on the edge of the sofa, as if they had really important things to discuss. 

"Just can't. You're my teammate. My friend. There would be _feelings_. It would all go to shit."

"That's unexpectedly sensible of you."

"Well, babe. You know we've got chemistry. But we can't both lose our heads, can we?"

"Alright then."

There was a brief moment of silence and then they both burst into laughter. Neymar leaned towards Leo shaking with laughter, and Leo couldn't help noticing how his eyes glinted green and gold as the rays of the sun hit his face.

Neymar finally stopped laughing and leaned back on the sofa.

"So how about that breakfast?"

"Fuck off! I don't have kitchen staff today and I'm definitely not cooking for someone I didn't fuck last night."

This caused another bout of wild laugher from Neymar. 

"Okay fine!" he pouted, standing up, "I'm off!"

Leo sighed as he listened to the front door slamming shut. He wondered if he should go back to sleep, or what? It was still very early. His hand found it's way into his shorts.

Suddenly the doorbell rang loudly. Leo stood up cursing and went to open it. It was Neymar, and he looked very soft and young in the early morning light.

"I just realised I'm off to Brazil today and you're off to the US."

"Yeah I know."

"I didn't say goodbye."

"Oh...right."

He looked unsure and a little forlorn for a moment, but then he recovered.

"So bye Leo. And good luck!"

Leo nodded.

Neymar was staring at him intently, as if he was trying to give him some very important message. And then he rushed him, wrapping his arms so tightly around Leo that, for a moment, he couldn't breathe.

"You too, good luck Ney," he barely whispered.

Leo tried to back up, but Neymar didn't let go. Finally he loosened his hold, and then grabbed his face. Staring into his eyes, very, _very_ seriously. Then he kissed Leo hard on one cheek, and then the other. And then again on both cheeks. Very firm, determined kisses.

"Leo," he said, somewhat breathlessly. 

Leo pulled him back into his arms and he could feel Neymar's lips against his neck. Finally Neymar brushed his lips over his skin, light as a feather and backed away. He looked a little flustered, a little flushed. He broke out into a big smile that threatened to stop Leo's heart altogether, pointy teeth flashing.

"Have a good summer!" he said brightly. And just like that he was gone.

Leo walked back inside, running his hand through his hair, pulling up big strands, and generally making a mess of himself. He wondered when a decent time to call his boy would be. He knew he would come whenever Leo called, but after lunch would probably be the considerate thing to do. He walked back into the living room looking around for his phone, absently touching the spot on his neck where Neymar's lips had been.

*


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, here comes chapter 3! Hope you enjoy and do let me know what you think in the comments. Thanks for reading so far!  
> Note: mention of Thiago and Antonella as well as Davi Lucca. Leo is no longer with Anto, but has a friendly relationship and they only have one kid. Sorry Mateo!  
> Also Kun and Leo, cos I can't help myself. But relax, they're just besties who had a relationship a long time ago of which there is brief mention.

Leo turned on his side, wincing at the still jarring pain in his lower back. He saw Kun giving him a look.

"I'm fine," he said preemptively.

Kun paused at the door.

"I'm _fine,"_ he repeated, earning an eye roll from Kun.

He stepped out and shut the door. Leo closed his eyes. He could hear Kun talking to someone just outside the door. Leo sighed heavily and hoped it wasn't a visitor for him. He just wasn't in the mood to see anyone. He was in one of those brooding moods that even Kun couldn't drag him out of.

The door clicked open and the sound of sudden laughter spilled inside. Sudden, throaty, wild laughter. Leo sat up, startled. He could swear that sounded like...

It couldn't be.

But it _was_.

Neymar entered the room, dressed in a skimpy vest and ridiculously low hanging jeans. He looked really, really pleased with himself. Kun was saying something as they both came inside, but Leo was too shocked to register anything.

"I...what..." he stuttered, sliding his legs off the edge of the bed and standing up.

"Surprise!" Neymar shouted. He made as if to rush towards him, but his eyes flicked to Leo's hand on his hip and he took a few measured steps towards him instead.

"Hey," his voice softened, "how are you, hmm?"

"I...I'm fine," Leo replied, instinctively moving to embrace the young Brazilian. 

As usual, Neymar clung to him a little longer than strictly necessary. Leo could feel Kun's eyes boring into them. Finally, his fellow Argentine cleared his throat loudly. Very subtle.

Neymar finally let go and backed away, turning to Kun with a smile.

"You were going somewhere? I have Leo to myself for a bit?"

Kun just burst into laughter and Leo could feel himself reddening. 

"Yeah, yeah," Kun said, "Everything good with you? Enjoying your time off?"

"I am," Neymar replied.

"So you've been meeting literally everyone, huh?"

"I _have,_ " Neymar giggled like a kid, "but how did you know?"

"Leo and I have been stalking your Instagram."

"Oh yeah?"

Neymar laughed out loud and Leo could feel the hot flush reach the very tips of his ears. He glared at Kun, trying to transmit _shut up_ with his eyes. But his so-called best friend was simply not in a helpful mood.

"What?" he said, unperturbed, "Was it supposed to be a secret?"

Leo wanted to kill him. He tried to make his face as neutral as possible. What was he supposed to even say now? He wanted to die.

But after a moment of awkward silence, Neymar chimed in helpfully.

"I'm always stalking Leo's Insta. But he hardly posts! Right? Isn't he so boring?"

"He really is," Kun said, chuckling and turning towards the door.

Leo sat back down on the bed and buried his face in his hands.

"What're you even doing here?" he said, voice muffled.

"I came to see you!" Neymar said brightly, sitting down next to him. Too close, according to Leo, but he didn't feel like moving away either.

"You seem to be really busy," Leo said, trying to keep the petulance out of his voice. 

The truth was that he hadn't really heard from Neymar since the end of the season. Going from constant texts to almost nothing was hard. But Leo wasn't really good at initiating the conversation. It was usually Neymar who texted about random things that happened to him during the day, sent silly jokes and videos and sometimes whole conversations comprised entirely of emojis. Leo was too awkward to invade Neymar's time and space in the way Neymar invaded his. Even though God knows, he _wanted to._

So not hearing from Neymar at all was annoying and a little upsetting, especially with everything else going on - the court case, his injury, the stress of representing Argentina. 

Not hearing from him at all, yet seeing his face plastered everywhere hanging out with random celebrities, was enough to make Leo sulk like a child. 

"I am super busy, but I was just in LA so I decided to surprise you."

He leaned back and lay down flat on the bed. Leo followed suit.

"That's nice," he said.

Neymar giggled. He shifted onto his side, and Leo did the same so they were facing each other.

"So you and Aguero?" he said, eyes glinting mischievously, "You ever?"

Leo rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling.

"That's a yes! _That's a yes!_ " Neymar giggled hysterically. He reached out and poked Leo's arm with his finger.

"Ow," Leo shifted away a little.

"He's really hot, hmm?"

"I don't want to discuss..." Leo began.

"How's the sex?"

"Ney!"

" _What?"_

"It's not...we don't...not anymore. We have, before. Ages ago. Like really, really long time ago. Like, almost ten years ago."

"Ah. So the sex wasn't very good?"

"No, it was great."

"Why did you stop?"

Leo closed his eyes. He could instantly remember the smell of Kun and the feeling of Kun's damp hair against his skin. And the feeling of Kun's fingers twisted inside the strands of his own long hair, after the last time. When they'd held each other and had _that_ talk. Leo kept his eyes closed and made his voice as neutral as possible.

"We decided our friendship was more important than whatever it was we were doing."

"Wise," Neymar murmured, "Any regrets?"

Leo opened his eyes and smiled.

"None."

Neymar smiled back, and Leo was briefly mesmerized by those eyes. He made himself move away and get up. He went to the bathroom, even though he didn't have to. As he was coming back into the room, he heard his phone buzzing loudly on his bedside table.

"Oooh!" Neymar said, springing up and reaching for it, but Leo got there quicker and just about snatched it away. It was Antonella sending a really cute photo of Thiago playing at the beach. Leo smiled to himself.

"What kind of photo makes you smile like that?" Neymar said, standing up and coming closer.

"Don't be a pervert," Leo replied, showing him.

Neymar's eyes lit up when he saw it was Leo's son.

"God that kid is cute," he said, taking the phone and peering at it closely. They both sat down on the sofa.

"So is yours," Leo said, taking his phone back.

"Well he _is_ my kid," Neymar said. He shifted and took out his phone. He moved closer to Leo and showed him a photo of his son. Leo smiled as Neymar scrolled through a whole album of cute photos.

It seemed that hardly any time had passed, sitting on the sofa with Neymar and exchanging stories about their respective kids, but soon Kun was already opening the door and walking in. He seemed a little surprised to see Neymar still there. 

"I need to go!" Neymar jumped up. 

"Plans?"

"Yeah," he grinned. Leo didn't want to ask. He was really not in the mood to hear about Neymar's sexual exploits. He would tell him afterwards anyway, probably in great detail.

"I'll text you about it," he said, winking.

"Sure," he replied, half-heartedly. Kun was going through his drawers looking for something, but Leo could hear him chuckling to himself.

"Sorry I haven't been texting much, by the way," Neymar said, dropping his voice low and leaning down.

Leo shrugged.

"You're busy."

Neymar straightened up and looked at Leo's face thoughtfully.

"I meant to call you when I heard about your injury but..."

"It's okay," Leo stood up quickly. There was no way he could keep his composure during this conversation, with Kun in the room. It was too much and had to stop immediately.

Neymar hugged him.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, "I should've called you. I was worried about you."

"I know."

Kun waited for the door to shut and for Neymar's footsteps to die out.

"Is it that you don't fuck him, even though you really want to, so that's why he needs to go find someone who will?"

"Kun!"

Leo turned away and stormed towards his bed, Kun's laughter ringing in his ears. He lay flat on his bed, face pressed into the pillow. Of course he totally didn't remember mentioning anything to Kun about wanting to fuck Neymar. But he hadn't denied anything either. And, besides, Kun always knew. He always fucking knew everything. He could read Leo like a book, and it was so very annoying.

He heard Kun's footsteps approaching, and then the bed dipping slightly. Then he felt Kun's fingers gently threading through his hair.

"I'm sorry," he said, not sounding sorry at all.

"Okay," Leo muttered, still hiding his face.

"Hey, do you want to watch a movie?"

"Something dumb?"

"Of course."

"Okay."

His back was still sore, so Kun arranged all the pillows behind him to make him comfortable. 

"You need pillows too!" Leo protested, but Kun just gave him a quick peck on the cheek and continued fussing over him. 

They were about an hour into the movie when there was a loud knock on the door. Kun frowned and paused it. He glanced at Leo and went to the door. He stood aside, wry smile on his face, as Neymar tumbled into the room laughing.

"That was a quick," Kun remarked, looking at him with arched eyebrows, not a trace of a smile on his face.

"Oh it was...it was boring," Neymar said, frowning and peering into Kun's face and looking a little worried. Kun looked at him blankly and Leo felt bad.

"Hey, we were just watching a movie," Leo interjected, "I thought you had plans. What happened?"

Neymar glanced from Kun to Leo quickly.

"Oh I..." he began, "Don't you guys have any plans?"

Kun rolled his eyes.

"Leo is _injured,"_ he remarked pointedly and Neymar flushed dark red instantly.

"Of course. Sorry." He looked down. Leo flashed Kun an irritated look. He knew Kun was protective of him, and he probably thought he was protecting him by being weird and sullen with Neymar, but it made Leo feel bad for some reason.

Neymar cleared his throat.

"I was supposed to meet...someone. And I got to the place and it was just _so_ not my scene at all. And I didn't want to be there so I thought..."

"So you just bailed?"

"Kun!"

"What? I'm just asking..."

Leo raised an eyebrow and Kun shook his head in annoyance.

"I need to go see Angel," he said, and left the room.

Neymar visibly relaxed and turned to Leo.

"Is it just me or did he like me a lot more when I was here earlier?"

"You interrupted our movie," Leo said and Neymar smiled. 

He turned it off and lay on the bed on his side, and Neymar mirrored his actions. They were lying down face to face again, as they had done an hour earlier. It was a bit weird, but nice, Leo decided.

Evening was falling and the sun was very low in the sky, casting an eerie light in the room. Their faces were partially in shadow and this time around Leo found it easier to just lie down and steal glances at Neymar. His clothes hung loosely off his body, tanned skin exposed everywhere, white vest fashionably ripped and jeans riding low on his hips, exposing his sharp hipbone. Leo tried not to stare.

"I like your beard," Neymar said, reaching out and rubbing it roughly. Leo batted his hand away and Neymar laughed. They lay in silence for a little bit longer.

"I missed you," Neymar murmured and Leo just smiled. He felt a little drowsy. Neither of them made a move to turn on any lights. The sun went lower and lower and the light in the room got dimmer. Leo had travelled back and forth so much lately, he was exhausted. He closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. 

The room was almost completely dark when Leo opened his eyes with a start. He must have fallen asleep. He also realised with a slight feeling of horror that his hand was resting on Neymar's hip, a finger had slipped under his vest and was lying against his bare skin.

The mere awareness of his skin touching Neymar's skin made a jolt go up Leo's spine. He hoped Neymar didn't notice the shiver passing through his body. He raised his eyes tentatively to find that Neymar was gazing down at him with completely open and conscious eyes. He had a thoughtful expression on his face, a very slight frown, but other that he exuded perfect ease and relaxation. Leo didn't want to get sucked into his eyes, so he ran his gaze along the length of Neymar's body, lying on his side all relaxed, lithe and feline. When Leo's eyes reached his own hand resting so possessively on Neymar's body, he moved to remove it.

But Neymar smiled gently, and placed his hand on Leo's hand, keeping it there. They slowly entwined their fingers together. There was complete quiet in the room. It was like a dream.

Finally, Neymar broke the silence.

"I have to go."

"Don't go."

Neymar's fingers tightened around Leo's.

"Aguero won't appreciate it. And I'm pretty sure there are rules you're breaking right now. Anyway, my flight is really early tomorrow so I need to get to my hotel."

Leo sighed.

"So you really have to go?"

Neymar smiled again and gently disentangled their fingers. 

"I was only supposed to see you after summer," he said, biting his lower lip and looking down.

Leo grinned.

"I know. But you came to see me."

"I did." Neymar looked up, expression a little sheepish. "So let's say goodbye again, hmm?"

Leo leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. But Neymar shifted closer and put a firm hand on the back of Leo's neck. He leaned down and their mouths met, soft, warm and wet. Neymar kissed him and Leo, although in utter shock, kissed back. They both sat up in the bed and embraced. Then Neymar kissed him again, hand cupping his cheek, mouths clinging together momentarily.

Leo lay back down on the bed after Neymar had gone, head spinning, and dizzy and drowsy all at once. The last thing he wanted to do was think, so he closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him.

It was only the next morning that he got a text from Neymar. A panicked text.

_Shit. Did I really do that last night? I'm sorry? I hope you didn't mind?_

Leo took a long time typing out his message, about how he loved it, how much he wanted it, how much he fucking wanted it again, and how much he wanted _more._

But he deleted it. Finally he replied.

_No worries. It was actually pretty good, well done._

And then he could feel the palpable relief in Neymar's emoji laden, instant response.

It ended: _you slut._

Leo smiled to himself. If he closed his eyes he could still feel Neymar's hand on the back of his neck, the tenderest touch of their lips brushing together. His back was feeling better. Soon there would be distractions.

*


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear loves, apologies for taking so long to update this. I was finding it hard to write post-Copa stuff. Too hard, too sad, although I know many of you were probably craving for someone to write fic about it (I know I was!). Anyway here's the post-Copa chapter. It turns out to be quite sad (not completely but still), and I'm sorry if this makes anyone sad. It's just how it turned out. Hope you enjoy it anyway, and do please let me know in the comments how you felt about it. Mwahs.

Antonella helped him hold it together in public. Even though they were no longer together, they remained great friends and she always went out of her way for him. She brought Thiago to watch the game and she drove with him to Kun's party at his house in Buenos Aires. She was the one who convinced him to come in the first place. She insisted and, blurry with tears, dazed with exhaustion, he'd followed her lead. Because he didn't know what else to do. 

 

He didn't even know who he was anymore.

 

Leo had arrived at Kun's house, socialised as best as he could, taken selfies with everyone and now, he just couldn't deal anymore. 

 

"Why don't you go and rest in Kun's room?" Anto had suggested, and he'd gratefully slipped away.

 

He'd never had so much trouble simply taking a nap. He tried but his mind was full of scattered thoughts, he kept going back to that cursed moment when he'd missed that penalty. How could he do that? How did _that_ happen? It was almost funny. When he tried to _not_ think about that, he kept thinking of other equally horrible things. Like his son crying. And what about him? Why had he broken down in public like that? Why hadn't he remembered the cameras this time? 

 

"Remember the cameras, always." That had been a mantra hammered into him from a young age. And he'd failed. He'd failed on top of his great failure. He cringed with humiliation as his mind went over and over the whole thing.

 

Leo fidgeted and twisted and turned in the bed. At some point, he became aware of a ray of light cutting the room in half. He looked up to see someone standing at the doorway. Just gazing towards him. How long had he been there?

 

"Ney?"

 

He wasn't dreaming was he?

 

Nope. It was definitely Neymar and now he entered the room, shutting the door behind him. It was dark so Leo could only see his silhouette making its way to the bed. Neymar didn't bother to turn on the light, he just sat at the edge of the bed.

 

"Hey, Leo."

 

Leo could hear it in his voice, and he hated it. That soft tone you use on someone you're concerned for, someone you _pity._ He fucking hated it with all his heart. He had this overwhelming urge to jump off the bed and run away.

 

"What are you doing here?" he said, instead.

 

"I came to see you."

 

There was silence for quite a while. Leo had no idea what to say. Now that he was here, he was so close to him, he felt some stirring to touch him, to melt into him. Then another part of his mind reared up, mocking him. He didn't deserve it. He didn't even deserve pity, much less any desire of his being fulfilled. 

 

"Aren't you supposed to be in Brazil?" he said, finally.

 

"Yeah. I'm leaving early tomorrow. I just wanted to..."

 

"See how pathetic I really am?" Leo cut in. He hated how bitter he sounded, but on some level he didn't care.

 

"I wouldn't put it that way," Neymar said.

 

Leo could make out his eyes now, serious and shining in the dark.

 

"How would you put it?"

 

"Listen, Leo. I know last time I saw you, we...something happened and we never really talked about it and all that. Maybe it's a bit awkward but forget about that, okay? I'm here as your friend, and I wanted to make sure you're okay. Because I care about you. I care about you so much, you have no idea!"

 

All this came rushing out of Neymar in a breathless flood, and Leo felt tears fill his eyes.

 

Goddammit. _No._  


He turned his face away, couldn't bear to feel Neymar's eyes boring into him like that. He was determined not to cry again. He bit the inside of his cheek. 

 

"Thank you," he whispered, just because it seemed that he _had to_ say something at least.

 

"Don't fucking thank me," Neymar said, quite seriously.

 

That made Leo chuckle. Neymar let out a sigh that sounded suspiciously relieved. When he shifted towards him and put his arms around him, Leo let him. He could feel his body sagging, and he could feel Neymar holding him up.

 

"Don't say anything," he whispered defensively.

 

Neymar was quiet, just rocking Leo gently in his arms.

 

"Don't tell me it's going to be okay," he said, even though Neymar made no signs of saying anything like that.

 

"I wasn't going to," Neymar murmured.

 

"That's what people normally say. That I'll get over it in time."

 

Neymar stopped rocking him and drew back a little. With his hands on Leo's shoulders, he peered into his eyes.

 

"Can I ask you something?"

 

Leo nodded.

 

"Did you ever get over the World Cup?"

 

Leo bit his lip, shook his head.

 

"Me neither," Neymar replied.

 

"I know it still hurts," Leo said. He was referring as much to Neymar's physical injury as he was to the emotional scar of being injured, of seeing his team humiliated without being able to do anything about it.

 

"But it got better. Didn't it?"

 

Leo nodded slowly.

 

Neymar sighed and pulled him back into his arms. It was only when he started rubbing over his bare arms vigorously that he realised he was shivering.

 

"Shit," Neymar murmured, "get under the covers."

 

Leo did what he was told, and Neymar got in with him. He drew the blanket over them and pulled Leo into his embrace. Leo felt himself melting into his arms. It was so comfortable. The way Neymar wound one leg tightly around his thigh actually made him smile.

 

When was the last time he'd felt like smiling?

 

"When did you sleep?" Neymar was murmuring. He had no idea, but he knew that his eyelids were feeling very heavy and droopy all of a sudden. He snuggled closer and Neymar tightened his hold around him. His hand went to Leo's hair and his fingers gently massaged his scalp. Leo felt his chest loosening, his breath going in and out easier. His body relaxed and he could feel Neymar's breath syncing with his.

 

He focussed on the feeling of Neymar's hand, of his chest rising and falling, his breaths whooshing into his ear, his lips brushing over his brow, the feel of him, the scent of him filling him up. He liked the feeling of stillness it gave him. Finally the voices in his head, the images flashing in front of him, seemed to be shutting down one by one, leaving him the fuck alone. A heavy wave seemed to descend on him.

 

He pressed closer to Neymar and he could feel the Brazilian dropping a kiss, so soft like a little whisper, above his ear.

 

"Thank you," he said.

 

"Sshhhh," he replied, rocking him in his arms gently.

 

Leo had no idea how long he was asleep for, but when he woke up he felt like a giant cinderblock of pressure had been lifted from his chest. He smiled to himself when he heard the soft snores next to him. He and Neymar were both lying on their sides and they were holding hands loosely. 

 

When he tried to move his hands, Neymar tightened his hold on them. Leo gazed at him for a while. He was taken aback when Neymar suddenly opened his eyes, green and alert like an animal. They stared at him for a moment with utmost clarity. Then he reached up and pulled Leo down for a kiss.

 

When their lips collided, Leo let every semblance of control go. He didn't know who he was anymore, but he knew he wanted this, he wanted _him._ They sat up scrambling hands groping at each other. Leo felt Neymar's hands finding his face in the dark, cupping it, pressing his tongue into his mouth intently, hungrily.

 

He wasn't sure how long they kissed, but finally Neymar broke away and they were panting, pressing their foreheads together.

 

"So," Neymar said, between shaky breaths, "So..."

 

"Hmmm."

 

Neymar giggled and pecked at his lips, once, twice. The third time he darted the tip of his tongue into Leo's mouth quickly.

 

"So," he said again, and then suddenly got up and took himself across the room.

 

"What?"

 

"So that time when I kissed you..."

 

"What about it?"

 

"It wasn't just me doing something random."

 

"Is that what you do? Randomly kiss people?"

 

"I can't even deny it."

 

Leo couldn't help laughing.

 

"I guess it wasn't just a random thing then," he said.

 

Neymar's face turned serious.

 

"Of course I'm attracted to you Leo!"

 

"Yeah?"

 

Leo could feel his heart thudding like mad.

 

"You can't be that oblivious."

 

"Okay. I kind of am."

 

Neymar smiled and rolled his eyes.

 

"I just don't want to take advantage of you, right now."

 

Leo nodded. He wanted Neymar so much, he'd wanted him for so long, but he wasn't sure he could handle it right now. Could he really handle Neymar leaving him here and not being able to see him again until summer was over? Would he be able to handle the ambivalence between them?

 

"You understand right?" Neymar asked, voice full of worry.

 

"Yeah, I do."

 

He stood up and Neymar quickly walked to him, folding him into his arms. His hands moved soothingly up and down his back, and Leo let himself enjoy the sensation for a few moments before drawing away.

 

"You wanna go to sleep?"

 

Neymar nodded.

 

"I need to leave fucking early tomorrow morning."

 

"I can't believe you're actually here."

 

Neymar smiled. He reached out and cupped Leo's cheek. He bent down and kissed him softly on the forehead.

 

"Anything for you."

 

Leo tried to ignore the painful contraction of his heart. He walked towards the bed, and Neymar paused.

 

"Can I say something?"

 

Leo stopped and turned back.

 

"Mmm?"

 

"I think maybe I can take the guest room, and Kun can sleep with you."

 

Leo sat down on the bed, feeling like he'd been punched in the stomach. He buried his face in his hands, nodding.

 

_Kun._

He hated himself for being so fucking selfish. As if everything was always about him. Everyone was always so worried about how Leo was, how _he_ was dealing with everything. But this time, he couldn't face Kun at all. It was even worse than usual, because this time he had directly fucked up with his missed penalty kick. Nobody ever talked about anybody else's dreams. About Kun's dreams. But it weighed heavy on him. That's why he'd hardly been able to look at Kun, much less comfort him.

 

Neymar kneeled down and pried his hands away from his face. Leo felt him kissing his cheeks, his forehead, his chin. His whole face except for his mouth. Leo didn't have to explain, Neymar got it.

 

"Now you feel better," he said, voice soothing, "so now you can take care of him."

 

Leo nodded. Neymar drew both his hands to his lips, brushed his lips over them and stood up. He blew a little kiss at him before he left the room.

 

A few minutes later, the door opened and Kun came in. 

 

"Come here," Leo said, and Kun got into bed with him silently. Leo pulled him towards himself and Kun sighed and laid his head on his chest. Leo smoothed his hand over his head, his neck, his back. Until he could feel Kun finally relaxing. He fought to stay up until he was sure Kun was asleep.

 

And then he closed his exhausted eyes.

 

*


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi loves, here is the next chapter (featuring Platinum Blonde Leo) and I really hope you all enjoy it. The last chapter was heavy and sad, this one is not. It's light and hopefully fun. I had fun writing it and I hope you have fun reading it. Please leave me comments (I'm openly begging now!). xoxoxo

Leo wasn't really sure about his new look. But one thing about getting older, he was starting to care less and less what people thought of him. Although having said that, he really didn't appreciate some of the team's gasps of shock and, of course, Geri's exploding laughter, and the comments, the endless comments.

 

When Anto came to drop off Thiago, she'd squealed in delight before collapsing in a fit of giggles. She insisted on taking a photo and then posting the photo on Instagram. And then the whole world was in on it. 

 

Leo stretched out on the sofa. His phone buzzed. He seemed to have a sixth sense about Neymar's messages. He was sure this one was from him. He picked up his phone to check.

 

_Hey blonde boy :)_

_Hey_

Leo waited for the inevitable teasing. He was certain Neymar had a few jokes lined up to spring on him. He would just have to take it.

 

_First the beard, now this. You really trying to torture me?_

_What?_

_You look fucking sexy_

Leo felt his face flushing hot, and a grin spreading wide across his face.

 

_Serious?_

_Can we video chat?_

Leo's fingers hovered over his phone. This was...unprecedented. A whole crowd of butterflies fluttered inside his stomach. They hadn't really said much aside from the usual friendly texts, since _that_ kiss. Neymar seemed a bit flirty, but in a way he'd always been like that. Leo wasn't sure if he should read anything into it. 

 

His phone buzzed again.

 

_Come on baby boy, I wanna see you_

Leo squeezed his eyes shut for a few moments. He glanced at his tablet propped up on the table in front of him. Just then it started ringing. It was Neymar. Well he had to answer it. He had no choice in the matter. He swiped, and was greeted by Neymar's smiling face. He looked so damn fine. Leo tried to keep his expression neutral.

 

"There you are. Why are you hiding from me, huh?"

 

Leo hoped he couldn't make out how deeply crimson he was.

 

"I'm not hiding," he feebly protested.

 

Neymar was squinting and peering at him curiously. He nodded finally, as if satisfied.

 

"I love it!" he declared, and that made Leo's heart soar a little. 

 

"Good, someone does," he said.

 

"Oh what? People have opinions about it? You need to get a thicker skin, my friend."

 

"I guess."

 

"Come on. I don't want you to worry about that bullshit. Okay?"

 

"Okay."

 

He watched as Neymar's face moved close to the screen. He puckered his lips and let out a loud smack. Leo stared at the close up of Neymar's wet mouth. He loved those shapely lips of his, couldn't tear his eyes away from bright pink colour of the underside. He felt this terrible longing to slip his tongue inside and...

 

He was startled when Neymar cleared his throat loudly.

 

"Hey, I think I lost you there for a second."

 

"Oh I was just..." Leo felt all hot and flustered as he tried to come up with the words to explain away his blatant staring.

 

"Don't worry," Neymar's voice had dropped low and his eyes glinted mischievously, "there's too many miles between us right now, hmm?"

 

Leo was too turned on, embarrassed, excited, confused, to say anything. And Neymar's next words made him even more speechless.

 

"That photo was really hot. Especially the way you were just, like, sprawled out with your thighs spread like that. It made me imagine myself you know...and tugging that blonde hair. Mmm..."

 

_Fuck._

Leo stared at his face, very aware of his cock getting hard. Neymar's eyes had fluttered closed and his tongue flicked out to lick quickly over his lips. He started when Neymar burst into laughter, and grew embarrassed again at what his face must have looked like.

 

"Come on Leo," he said, biting his bottom lip and looking up through his eyelashes.

 

"Come on what?" Leo managed, his voice a croak.

 

"Come on and show me something I can think about later, when I'm here by myself."

 

Leo's hand moved down to his cock, now rock hard and aching. He palmed it for some relief.

 

"Take that stupid T-shirt off baby."

 

_What the hell!_

But he did what Neymar asked, flinging the shirt aside. Neymar moaned softly and stretched his tongue out, flicking it up and down. Leo's finger went to his nipples, rubbing over them.

 

"I wanna sit on your lap, grind down..."

 

Leo couldn't tear his eyes away from the screen, watching Neymar's pretty hazel eyes full of lust, watching him. It did something to him that Neymar was so turned on by him, by his body. His hand went down to his cock again.

 

"Can you move your computer a bit further so I can..."

 

Leo again did as he was instructed and Neymar groaned in response.

 

"Mmmm, I can see you're hard Leo."

 

"What do you expect?"

 

"Can you...Can I see your cock?"

 

Leo hesitated.

 

"Come on," he whispered, "show it to me, baby."

 

He really had no power to resist when Neymar looked at him like that, with eyes clouded with lust, with that low, sexy voice, barely above a whisper. He slipped his hand inside his shorts and took his hard cock out. At this point, he was too far gone to even be shy or embarrassed. 

 

A moan escaped his lips as he stroked up and down his cock, thumbing at the precome collected at the tip. He continued stroking as Neymar moaned in response, his eyes wide and watchful, biting his lip and flicking his tongue in and out.

 

"I wish I was there to suck you off."

 

"Me too."

 

"You _would_ wish that."

 

"Of course."

 

Neymar giggled.

 

"I'd get on your lap and ride you."

 

"Oh you want this inside you?"

 

"I want it so bad, Leo."

 

"I want it too."

 

"Yeah I figured."

 

It was Leo's turn to laugh.

 

He stroked his cock in a steady rhythm, eyes locked on Neymar. But the things he was saying also gave him some welcome images of Neymar straddling him and his cock sliding in and out of Neymar's tight hole.

 

"Faster baby," Neymar murmured and, again, Leo followed instructions, stroking faster and faster. He was getting close now, sweat trickling down his body, precome making his movement slick and fast.

 

"Oh baby," Neymar purred, "you're so close. Come for me baby."

 

And he did. With a loud final moan, Leo fell back against the cushions, the orgasm surging through his body and come spattering into his fist.

 

He closed his eyes.

 

"Was that good?" Neymar was saying.

 

Leo opened his eyes and Neymar was smiling at him. He had this satisfied, smug smile on his face, but it was also kind of sweet. Unbearably sweet.

 

"It was good," Leo replied smiling, feeling light as a feather, "Don't you want to..."

 

Someone banged loudly on the door behind Neymar and Neymar jumped and then burst into giggles. He shouted at the door in Portuguese.

 

"I'll store _that_ away for later. I needed to be outside half an hour ago!"

 

"Don't tell me you're video sexing me from the Olympic Village!" Leo exclaimed, a little horrified.

 

Neymar was stepping away from the screen.

 

"I'll call you later?"

 

"Okay."

 

He blew him a kiss and beamed that beautiful smile at him.

 

"Ciao my blonde boy!"

 

Leo couldn't stop grinning to himself as he cleaned himself up and wondered what to do next. He didn't have to wonder long though, as Luis made an appearance soon after.

 

He greeted him at the door and Luis hugged him tightly. Was it his imagination or had Luis' hugs gotten tighter and longer lately? Leo smiled at the thought. He was very lucky to have him. The way he'd supported him since his arrival back in Barcelona...it was exactly what he needed. 

 

The thing about Luis was that, it was so obvious when he was worried about Leo and trying to take care of him. And Leo knew that Luis understood. After all, he had gone through so much in his footballing life, he'd had to overcome so much. He'd had a brilliant season but then he'd gotten injured and was forced to miss the Copa America. It had to hurt, especially since he was finally getting to join his national team after his long ban. Luis didn't complain, but when he was there Leo felt this deep sense of security in the knowledge that Luis understood his pain, and he empathised with him. It made it so much easier to get over things, the knowledge that his friends had heartbreaks too. It made him understand that this was life, and this was football and everyone suffered in their own ways.

 

But this was heavy stuff and they had talked about it in direct and indirect ways. Today was not a heavy day, thanks to Neymar. Luis followed Leo into the kitchen and sat down while he poured drinks.

 

"How are you?" he said.

 

Leo looked back and smiled at his friend.

 

"Good, good."

 

"Yeah? I was thinking, only if you feel up for it and if you feel like facing the world, and I get it if you don't want to yet..."

 

Here was Luis trying to be serious and Leo couldn't think past the fact that he'd just masturbated while Neymar watched him over video chat. That thought made him giggle involuntarily. He was just that giddy. He tried to hide it with a cough, but there was no fooling Luis. He paused mid-sentence and looked at Leo with a half-smile on his lips.

 

"You're in a pretty good mood. What are you grinning about?"

 

Leo pulled a chair out and shook his head, blushing furiously.

 

"Come on, tell me! I finally find you in a good mood and you don't even tell me why?"

 

He had a point.

 

"It was just something Ney said," Leo mumbled, looking down. Luis didn't say anything for a few moments and Leo glanced up to find him looking at him thoughtfully. There was a sudden glint in his eyes, and Leo knew he was fucked.

 

Why was he so fucking transparent?

 

"Leo," Luis said carefully, his tone casual, "is there something going on? Between you and Ney?"

 

"Why would you even say that?"

 

Leo knew he wasn't going to get out of it that easily, but he had to try.

 

"I don't know," Luis replied seriously, "I guess because it makes sense?"

 

_Because it makes sense._

It was unbearably embarrassing. Leo looked down at the table. That was basically an admission of guilt. Luis whistled softly. When Leo looked up, face hot and red, Luis was looking down at him fondly, smiling, amused.

 

"Well nothing's actually happened," Leo mumbled.

 

"No?"

 

"No."

 

"Someone told me he flew to Buenos Aires to see you after the final."

 

"He did."

 

"That doesn't sound like nothing."

 

"He's just...impulsive."

 

"Oh yeah? So nothing's happened?"

 

"Well we might have kissed. A couple of times."

 

"Leo!"

 

He banged on the table triumphantly.

 

"But you know he's a slut right?" he said next.

 

Leo looked up and Luis was grinning from ear to ear.

 

"I thought he was your friend," Leo said indignantly.

 

"Is there something wrong with being a slut?"

 

"Stop saying slut," Leo muttered.

 

Luis let out one of his high-pitched giggles and Leo finally gave in and joined in the laughter.

 

"Let's change the subject!" he said, finally, when Luis had stopped laughing.

 

"Oh I was saying earlier, if you feel like it, why don't you come along with the team to England?"

 

"Cut short my holiday?"

 

"Yeah. What are you doing anyway? Besides sexting Ney..."

 

"Oh my god!"

 

"Leo! There's nothing wrong with sext..."

 

Leo stood up and jumped on him, pummeling him lightly with his fists, as Luis tried to fight him off.

 

"I'll stop if you come to England!" he gasped.

 

Leo stopped, putting his hands on Luis' shoulders.

 

"Okay, I will."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Uh huh."

 

"You sure?"

 

Leo nodded.

 

"I'm ready to get out there."

 

He bent down and kissed the top of Luis' head.

 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to go on about Leo's new platinum blonde look too much. Personally I'm not into it (I am super into the beard though!) but then it's his life and his hair and part of me loves, LOVES the fact that he was confident enough to do such a drastic style change, questionable though it is!  
> I just wanted Ney to love it without reservation and for that to make Leo really happy. :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter this time, hope you enjoy!  
> I'm so happy La Liga is back. I miss Neymar in Barcelona!

There was something missing.

 

Someone, rather.

 

Everything was going well. They'd won the Spanish Supercup, in emphatic fashion. And now they'd won their first Liga match, playing pretty much the perfect game. It was great to be back. The new signings were all good kids, and it was great to be back with Luis, Geri, and the rest. But it wasn't the same because _he_ wasn't there.

 

Leo sighed as he gathered his things and prepared to leave. Luis came over and leaned on the locker next to him. He bounced the match ball he'd received for his hattrick on the ground loudly. 

 

" _I'll_ watch the Olympics wth you later," he said in a low voice, a sly look on his face.

 

Leo rolled his eyes.

 

"I might not watch it. It's on pretty late, no?"

 

Luis stifled a smile.

 

"Yeah right. You're going to miss the chance to see your boy go for gold?"

 

"He's not _my boy,"_ Leo whispered back, slamming the locker hard and glaring at Luis.

 

"Okay!" Luis winked, " _Our_ boy. But I'm serious. Sofi is away with the kids and I want you to come over. I'll cook."

 

Leo slapped the ball away from Luis' hands spitefully. As he left the room, he could hear his high-pitched laugh following him.

 

The truth was that he was nervous. He knew Brazil had a good chance to beat Germany. They had the better team, they had _Neymar._ There was no better player in that tournament. But as soon as their match against Real Betis was over, Leo had felt this uncomfortable knot in his stomach and he knew exactly why it was there. He was anxious for Neymar, even as he had complete faith in him.

 

In the end, he decided to go over to Luis' place after all. He knew he would be even more anxious if he watched it alone. They ate dinner and settled down. Luis didn't even tease him much, just talked about normal things. It occurred to Leo that Luis might have invited him over _because_ he knew he would be a ball of anxiety if he watched it alone. He looked over at his friend and felt a surge of tenderness towards him. He stretched his legs out on the sofa and rested his ankles on Luis' lap. Luis didn't even look over, just adjusted himself slightly so Leo would be more comfortable.

 

It had to go to penalties. They watched in tense silence. Neymar was going last, the do or die penalty kick. Leo stood up, suddenly wanting to throw up. As Neymar started walking towards the spot, Leo turned around and started marching away from the room. He just couldn't.

 

Luis was up in a flash. Leo felt himself being grabbed.

 

"Come on!" Luis said. Leo let himself be turned around, to face the television again.

 

"He'll do it," Luis murmured. He stood behind Leo and held him close in his arms. Leo watched, heart thudding painfully. Neymar picked up the ball, kissed it, and set it down.

 

The next moment, Luis was fully screaming into his ears and spinning him wildly around the room. They hugged each other and shouted, and on the TV Neymar sank to his knees, face crumpling with emotion and tears running down his cheeks.

 

The noise from the stadium was absolutely deafening, and everyone was jumping and crying. 

 

"Look at those two!" Luis exclaimed, laughing, pointing to Rafinha and Neymar embracing tearfully.

 

It was late when Leo finally got back to his place. Way later than his usual bedtime, but he didn't feel very sleepy at all. After pacing around for a while in his room, he picked up his phone and texted his congratulations to Neymar. 

 

To his surprise, his phone immediately started buzzing. It was Neymar.

 

"Hey," Leo said, answering the phone, "were you taking a selfie?"

 

"What do you mean?" 

 

Neymar's voice was hoarse, and there were oddly no sounds in the background.

 

"I just didn't expect a call from you right now."

 

"Oh. Right."

 

"So how are you?"

 

Neymar laughed.

 

"Overwhelmed. I'm actually hiding right now. Trying to get a moment to myself, catch my breath."

 

"That doesn't sound like you."

 

"I _know."_  


There was a long-ish pause.

 

"Ney congrats! I'm really proud of you. You deserve..."

 

"Leo?" Neymar cut in, his voice ringing loud and clear.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"You know what's really funny?"

 

"What?"

 

"Everything is so amazing, and I'm so fucking happy. And grateful. So so grateful. But..."

 

He trailed off and was quiet for a bit. Leo waited for him to finish his sentence but he didn't say anything more. The pause was so long, in fact, that Leo wondered if Neymar's phone had died, or he'd been found by one of his teammates.

 

He was just about to say something, when Neymar spoke again. His voice was so low, Leo had to strain to hear.

 

"Everything is perfect but, right now? I just want to be with you, Leo."

 

Then he chuckled, kind of self-deprecatingly - as if he couldn't believe what an idiot he was being - and Leo felt a painful squeezing of his heart, and was rendered speechless.

 

  
_No you don't,_ he wanted to say. _No you don't. You're surrounded by your friends and your teammates, and your family, and your people. Each one absolutely loves you. No you don't want to be with me right now._  


But he couldn't speak.

  
_Maybe you just want a celebratory fuck,_ Leo wanted to say. _But you don't need me for that. You're in Brazil, the Olympics are finishing and you just won the gold for your country. And you're fucking beautiful. You can have whoever you want tonight._  


Still he couldn't speak, couldn't make the words come out of his mouth.Besides, he got what Neymar meant. All the things Leo wanted to say were true, but he still got what Neymar was talking about. Leo didn't want to dwell on it, didn't _dare,_ but he understood the feeling perfectly.

 

Then suddenly he could hear some background sounds of revelry, getting louder.

 

"I gotta go Leo," Neymar said, in that same low voice.

 

"Okay," Leo barely whispered.

 

"Okay..." Neymar whispered back.

 

Leo could _hear_ it in his voice, even in that one little word, he could _feel_ Neymar's mouth smiling against his phone. There was another long pause, and he could hear Neymar's breath, heavy and shallow.

 

Neymar chuckled again.

 

"I'll be seeing you soon then, Messi."

 

He hung up without waiting for a response.

 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who watched Neymar win Olympic gold? ;)  
> I had to write something about this, HAD TO.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neymessi is back, oh joy! Hope you enjoy this chapter! A warning: there is a little mention of a Rafinha/Neymar thing. It's nothing really, and it's not going to be a triangle or anything. I don't know if I will develop this further, but if I do, it will probably be unrequited on Rafa's side. But so far no concrete plans. Just a friendly warning. :D

Leo had a shell he liked to retreat into, a rather world famous one. People always talked about how he didn't show any emotions, even in the most fraught situations. With a few notable exceptions, Leo had been exceptionally good at the art of of Not-Reacting. What most people didn't realise was that this sometimes extended to his personal relations.

So Neymar came back to Barcelona, after what seemed like a the longest summer of all time. Dani - who'd made the move to Italy - came back to Barcelona briefly. There was a party for everyone to meet up and catch up, and Leo watched helplessly as Neymar flitted from person to person, being his ridiculous, charming self. He'd missed him so much that when he finally saw him, he could hardly react. It's like his mind - and his _body,_ of course - needed time to get used to this, the fact that they were in the same city, the same room, breathing the same air. At last.

And then Neymar was grabbing him by the waist and dragging him out of the room, into a dark corridor, hoarse giggles next to his ear, breath hot. 

"Leo," he whispered, his voice full of mischief, " _Hey._ "

And then Leo could feel his warm mouth descending onto his, his tongue slipping into his mouth, probing inside, tangling with his tongue. Neymar's hands slipped under his shirt and wrapped him in a tight embrace. Leo could barely breathe. He could feel a kind of buzzing, heart-thudding excitement, coupled with something that felt like relief, washing over him. And then there were footsteps in the corridor, voices floating towards them, and Neymar was gone in a flash, leaving Leo to lean against the wall helplessly, trying to catch his breath, reorient himself.

In training, he couldn't bring himself to be too near Neymar, although he could see him sending looks and smiles his way. Leo kept a distance while he got used to his presence, kept an eye on him from afar. He observed how Neymar and Rafinha were so playful with each other. He thought of Kun and himself, after they'd won gold in Beijing. It seemed so long ago. It _was_ so long ago.

*

"Okay, I'm off. I'm sure you two want to be alone." Luis stood up, smoothing his shirt. Leo froze, but Neymar stood up and gave Luis a hug, as if what he'd just said was no big deal.

Leo was giving Luis a ride home after the match against Celtic and, somehow, Neymar had ended up with them. He didn't live in the same direction or anything. He'd just followed them to the parking garage, linked his arms around Leo's neck and asked if he could come along.

"Of course," Leo had replied, as he tried to ignore Luis' laugh-snort. He'd self-consciously unlinked Neymar's arms from his body and given him a quick look. And now this. He wondered if Luis and Neymar had actually already had a talk about their...thing. Whatever it was. They were good friends, but they wouldn't just talk about Leo, would they?

"Hey! Leo, I'm leaving. Do I get a hug or what? Gave you an assist and everything!"

Luis' laughter jolted him out of his reverie. He stood up quickly, but stopped short of hugging Luis.

"Oh but why..." he hesitated, "I mean, why don't you stay? What's the rush?"

He could pretty much feel Neymar glaring at him. Or laughing at him. One or the other. But he couldn't just abandon all sense of propriety.

"Nah."

Luis grabbed Leo and pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tightly.

"I have my own blondie waiting for me at home," he said. 

"Okay." Leo sat back down, burning hot, embarrassed, and Neymar walked out of the room with Luis.

He came back a minute later, grinning.

Leo leaned back on the sofa, sighed, and shook his head.

Neymar's smile softened, and his eyes softened, as he approached Leo. Leo could feel his breath catching in his throat. The way that boy was _looking_ at him. Neymar came close to him, between his legs and dropped to his knees. He folded his arms on top of Leo's lap and lay his head down. Leo stared down at the bright yellow, little curls. 

"You were fucking amazing," Neymar said, voice a little muffled, "On fire. Holy fucking shit, you were amazing."

Leo placed a single finger on Neymar's head, pushing the tip under a curl of hair and twirling it slowly. He could feel Neymar exhaling deeply.

"You were better," he said. He meant it. Neymar was sensational against Celtic in their first Champions League match of the season. Leo had scored a hattrick but Neymar had been just as crucial and brilliant.

Neymar raised his head and smiled up at him. That blinding smile. Those shining eyes. Leo couldn't look away. He was positively glowing. Leo was left with this feeling that was amazing, but also a little uncomfortable. He could see clearly how much his praise meant to the younger man. He knew he held him in the palm of his hand. Which was ironic, of course, since Neymar held him too, in the palm of _his_ hand. For totally different reasons. 

It was almost painful.

"Well it's a good thing Luis left," Leo finally said, reaching for a joke, for _anything,_ to bail him out, "He was crap."

Neymar exploded into laughter and stood up. He slumped down on the sofa next to Leo and leaned his head on his shoulder. 

"This is one of the things I love about you," he said, taking Leo's hand in his.

"What is?"

"You'll say something really funny unexpectedly. You make me laugh. I like that."

Leo smiled.

"What else? What else do you love about me?" he said shamelessly.

Neymar chuckled, but he didn't respond for a while. He moved his fingers through Leo's fingers slowly.

"So Leo. Why have you been a bit distant with me? Since I've been back from Brazil?"

Leo wanted to tell him - _because I missed you. I missed you too much._

But of course he didn't. He couldn't.

"Have I?" he said instead, stalling for time.

"Yeah, you have."

"I guess I wasn't sure..."

"About us?"

"Is there an _us_?"

Neymar hesitated.

"I guess not?"

He drew his legs up and curled into Leo's side. He picked Leo's arm up and placed it around his own shoulders. It made Leo smile, and he drew him closer to himself. He loved how Neymar snuggled into him. How easy it was, how well he fit.

He didn't want to, but he had to. He took a deep breath.

"You and Rafa..." he began.

"Hah. You're so observant." Neymar cut in.

Was he being serious?

"Something happened in Brazil?"

"Not really."

"So..."

"I guess I should tell you this. Even though there's no _us."_

Leo wondered how he was supposed to react.

"Tell me what?" he finally got out.

"There really isn't anything to tell. We were partying together a lot after the Olympics. And one night we danced together and I felt this kind of vibe between us. And I guess we got a bit carried away, and we ended up making out a little."

"Oh. A little, huh?"

Neymar chuckled.

"We were very, very drunk Leo."

"You don't have to justify yourself."

And Leo meant it. It only made him think of Kun. How young and filled with the glory of victory they had been. How excited, how close and intimate with each other. How his hands had felt on his body, how Kun's eyes had gazed at him hotly across some room. How they couldn't get their hands off each other.

"I'm not justifying," Neymar was saying, "nothing happened. The next morning we talked. He said he liked me. I told him I valued our friendship too much, plus being on the same team..."

"Isn't that what you said to me? About us? But then..."

"Yeah, but Rafa isn't _you._ "

Neymar placed a hand on Leo's chest. He smoothed it up and down, finally leaving it pressed right on top of his heart. Leo closed his eyes, feeling helpless. A minute or two passed.

"Leo?"

"Hmm?"

"I told him there was someone else."

Neymar sounded hesitant, almost nervous. Questioning. Leo tightened his hold.

"You did? Did you tell him who..."

"He guessed it was you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep. Immediately."

Leo found himself grinning.

" _How?"_

"He said it just made sense."

"Luis said the same thing, you know."

"He did? He said you and I make sense?"

"Yeah."

Neymar straightened up and looked at Leo's face. At this point, they were both grinning stupidly.

"Leo," he said, shaking his head, "if we _make sense_ then don't be so stiff around me!"

Immediately he laughed out loud. Presumably over the word _stiff._ Leo rolled his eyes, and playfully pushed him away. But Neymar just caught his hands and clambered onto his lap.

"Oh Leo," he said, "I missed you. I missed everything. This city, you. Just playing with you."

He straddled him and bent down, kissing him softly. Leo could feel both of them relaxing, bodies melding together. He wrapped his arms around Neymar and buried his face in his chest.

After a while Neymar extricated himself and stood up, looking down at Leo, biting his lips. His eyes were intense and serious. Without another word, he dropped to his knees. He placed his hands on Leo's shorts and pulled them down, releasing his semi-hard cock. Neymar's warm fingers on his shaft had an immediate impact. As he grew big and hard, Leo could hear Neymar's sharp intake of breath.

And then his wet, hot mouth engulfing his aching cock.

Leo gripped the fabric of his sofa with both hands. Neymar's mouth on his cock - this thing he had been dreaming of for so fucking long - was this intense, all encompassing feeling. He _had to_ concentrate on not coming instantly. He bit down on his bottom lip hard.

Then he felt Neymar withdrawing his mouth. He opened his eyes and saw Neymar looking up at him. _Those eyes._

"Leo," he said, voice hoarse, "play with my hair."

" _What?"_

"Pull my hair baby."

"But don't you hate it when..."

"Leo!"

"Okay, but..."

Neymar rolled his eyes and sat back on his heels. He gazed at Leo thoughtfully.

"Tonight when we were celebrating one of the goals, you pulled my hair like this." He ran the tips of his fingers quickly through the curls on the back of his head and drew them out, tugging lightly on the way out.

"I did?"

He licked his lips.

"I've been thinking about it since then."

Leo's eyes widened in surprise.

"That's so random!"

"Don't question it."

Leo nodded. He placed one hand on top of Neymar's head and Neymar closed his eyes, body trembling lightly. He cupped his face with his other hand, slowly running his thumb over his cheek, over his chin, and then pushing his thumb into his mouth. Neymar swallowed his thumb, and Leo pushed in and out, in and out. Neymar was trembling, and moaning around his thumb. With his other hand Leo tugged lightly on Neymar's curls. He could see him squeezing his eyes tighter.

He liked this effect on the younger man. Finally a semblance of control. It made him even harder, made his cock ache even more, made him want Neymar's hot mouth on it even more. He liked this sight of Neymar on his knees, moaning around his thumb going in and out of his mouth, sucking on it eagerly. If he wanted to make him moan louder, he just had to tighten his fingers on his curls. He liked it a lot. 

Finally he took his hand away and guided Neymar's head down to his cock. Neymar sucked and slurped on his cock expertly, enthusiastically, and Leo pushed his head up and down, enjoying the sensation of his hot tongue, and enjoying equally his submissiveness, and his eagerness to please.

What started off as slow, languid motions finally started to speed up. Leo pushed forward to the edge of the sofa. He held Neymar's head in place and thrust in and out. Neymar hollowed his cheeks out and leaned his head back, accommodating his thrusts completely. 

Leo fucked into Neymar's mouth, cock throbbing and on the verge of coming. Neymar was scrabbling to keep his balance. He saw him reach down with one hand and grab on to his own cock. The sight of Neymar taking his cock in his mouth so readily, so eagerly, and desperately pumping his own cock...it was all too much. Body shuddering violently, Leo thrust deep into Neymar's mouth and came hotly. He gripped Neymar's hair with one hand, pulling hard. He heard Neymar crying out loudly, almost a sob, and his body convulsing as he came too, even as he swallowed every drop of Leo's come.

Leo let go and fell back on the sofa, sated. He breathed in and out, exhausted, content. He reached down with both hands and Neymar gave him one hand, which he gripped tightly.

"Are you okay?" Leo whispered.

"I...yes, I..." Neymar was out of breath, panting softly, laughing a little. 

He stood up and grabbed a tissue from the table, wiping the come from his hand. He stood there and stared at Leo for a bit.

Leo stared back, lost for words. He could feel all the tiredness taking over his body. 

He reached out with his arms and gestured for Neymar to come to him. The smile Neymar gave him made his heart hurt a little. He lay down on the sofa and Neymar came to him, lying on him. Leo enclosed him in his arms, kissing the side of his face. He could feel Neymar sighing happily.

_Is there an "us" now?_ Leo wondered.

There would be time for talking later. For now, he ran his hands up and down Neymar's back, marveling at how he fit, how he loved his weight on his body.

He closed his eyes, feeling drowsy.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, so...how great have Leo and Ney and Luis been (along with the rest of the team)? Aren't we all glad Ney is back, aren't we all rejoicing in the Neymessi moments AT LAST!? I know I am.


	8. Chapter 8

Leo wished they'd all leave him, but then he felt guilty for thinking it. Luis was there, as usual. But the fact that even Andres felt he had to come over was touching. But Leo was too mad. Mad at himself for possibly exacerbating his injury. Mad that he was going to miss playing time. And mad that the match against Atletico - which was definitely winnable - had ended in a draw.

 

Of course there was the other thing that he didn't want to think about. He hated himself for caring that Neymar wasn't there to comfort him. Everyone knew that Leo liked to be left alone when he was upset, and Leo wanted things to be that way. He didn't want to care, but he had to admit he did.

 

And then Neymar did show up and made things worse.

 

"Hey guys! What's happening here? Did someone die?"

 

Luis laughed, because he laughed at everyone's bad jokes, but Leo couldn't bring himself to pretend, and from the corner of his eye he saw Andres cracking a weak smile.

 

Neymar stood at the doorway, hanging from the frame as if he didn't really want to come in. He grinned awkwardly until Leo stood up and started walking towards him, hobbling a little.

 

Neymar raised a hand.

 

"No, no, don't stand."

 

He did a little awkward jog into the room and then stood awkwardly in front of the sofa where Leo was sitting with Andres. Leo sat back down.

 

"Are you okay?" he said, finally.

 

Leo just glared at him.

 

"Of course he's not," Andres said gently, "he's injured and he's upset, Ney."

 

"Well I know that!"

 

"I meant..."

 

Neymar squatted on the floor and took Leo's hands in his. He stared at Leo with those mesmerizing eyes, and Leo looked away. He was upset, he couldn't believe he was injured again. And then Andres was there, so he couldn't really risk looking at Neymar when he was looking at him like _that._  


" _Leo..."_ Neymar began.

 

Leo withdrew his hands. He saw Neymar flinch a little at that. He stood up.

 

"I don't want to talk," Leo finally managed.

 

He glanced up. Neymar looked a bit hurt for a split second, and then his expression smoothed out, and he backed away.

 

"Sure," he said, this tone cold and sharp, "well I'm off. Let me know when you're open to normal human interaction."

 

He turned around and stalked away. Andres raised his eyebrows, but Luis jumped up and followed Neymar outside. Embarrassingly enough, they could hear their conversation. Or at least Luis' part of it.

 

"What the fuck is wrong with you man? Don't you see he's upset?"

 

Neymar mumbled something.

 

"I don't care. If you talk to him like that again, I'm going to kick your ass! Ney... _Ney_!"

 

Leo started when he felt Andres' hand on his arm.

 

"Leo...can I ask you something?"

 

Leo sighed. He knew what was coming.

 

"About Ney and me?" he said.

 

"So it's true?"

 

"Kind of."

 

Andres smiled.

 

"Kind of?"

 

"Yeah, kind of."

 

Leo leaned back and crossed his arms across his chest sulkily.

 

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

 

"Of course I don't!"

 

"I'm sure Ney cares about you a lot..."

 

"But?"

 

Andres was quiet for a few moments.

 

"You know I love him, but he doesn't really seem the type to be serious. Especially at his age."

 

"Don't worry, there is nothing serious. Can we stop talking about this?"

 

Leo was hot and red faced. He wished Andres would stop, and to his relief he did. Luis came back after a few moments, looking annoyed.

 

They left soon after and Leo was alone. He glanced at his phone a few times, wondering if he should call Neymar. But he didn't want to. What was he supposed to say? It's not like he was good with words, and he would probably just end up annoying both of them even more. He decided to let it go for now.

 

*

 

"Hey Leo hey!"

 

Leo smiled into the phone. Of course he was not entirely happy. He was alone at home while his teammates had just played a wonderful match against Sporting Gijon. He felt miserable and left out, as usual when he was forced to miss a match. But hearing Neymar's cheerful voice still made him feel happy.

 

"Congrats," he said, "I enjoyed that."

 

"Good, good!" Neymar giggled. 

 

His voice dropped a little.

 

"I missed you baby."

 

Leo bit his lip, feeling his stomach churning with butterflies.

 

"Hmm," he said, "I miss you too."

 

"I wanna see you. It's been ages."

 

"It's been two days."

 

"That's ages. I miss you."

 

Leo laughed.

 

"Okay. Are you on your way back?"

 

"Yeah, almost there. I want to ask you something. Me and Rafa and some of the others are going out to celebrate, but I want to come by. Shall I come before we go out, or after? How late do you think you'll be up?"

 

Leo felt his heart sink. 

 

"I don't know," he mumbled.

 

"What did you say?"

 

He could hear a commotion in the background.

 

"Nothing. I said..." he trailed off uncertainly. He thought of what Andres had said. He wondered if he was taking all this too seriously.

 

"You know what," he said, finally making up his mind, "Don't worry about seeing me tonight. Just go out and enjoy yourself."

 

"What? Are you sure?"

 

"Yeah. I want to have an early night anyway. And I'll see you soon, in training."

 

"But you're injured!"

 

"Oh you noticed?"

 

"Leo...are you mad?"

 

"No just...no need to go out of your way. Have fun and congratulate everyone for me!"

 

He hung up before Neymar had a chance to reply. He sighed. He really needed to have an early night otherwise he would just be staring at his phone for hours.

 

The next morning, Leo woke up very early. It was cool and silent and he relaxed in his bed with his eyes closed for a few moments. As he became more conscious, he felt like he could hear someone downstairs. Which was weird, because he had given his kitchen staff the morning off.

 

He frowned and got out of bed. He went downstairs and and opened the door to the kitchen. To his utter surprise, Neymar was in there. He didn't notice Leo coming in, so busy was he preparing plates and placing pastries on them. The smell of strong coffee hit his nostrils.

 

Neymar looked up then with this idiotic, sheepish grin. There was something so beautiful about him in the morning light. He'd noticed this before. He looked soft and vulnerable, without any kind of mask. 

 

"I...what..."

 

He gave up trying to say anything. Just stood there and stared.

 

Neymar straightened up.

 

"Well you look nice." He looked Leo up and down, making him extremely self-conscious. He could feel himself blushing. Of course he was only wearing his boxers.

 

"What are you doing in my house Ney?" he said, partially turning away.

 

"Bringing you breakfast maestro."

 

"I'm going to..."

 

"Don't go anywhere."

 

Neymar quickly closed the distance between them. He placed his hands on Leo's waist and turned him gently towards himself.

 

"Why not?" Leo whispered. He placed his arms around Neymar's neck, and Neymar pulled him a little closer.

 

He looked down at Leo for a few moments, seriously, unsmiling, and then he chuckled. His hands slid around to his back and he caressed his naked skin. Leo shuddered.

 

"Awww, are we still sulking?"

 

"I'm not," Leo feebly protested. He raised himself on his tiptoes and placed his head under Neymar's chin. Neymar's hold around him tightened.

 

"Yes you are. You're sulking and you're pouting because you can't play and you feel left out."

 

"Mmmm."

 

Leo nuzzled into Neymar's neck.

 

"Admit it," Neymar whispered into his ear, lips brushing his skin.

 

"Maybe."

 

Neymar backed away a little. He moved one hand from Leo's back, and reached out, tipping his chin up with a finger.

 

"You're such a fucking brat," he said, shaking his head.

 

" _You're_ calling _me_ a br..." Leo began, but Neymar didn't let him finish. He bent down and kissed him full on the mouth, making Leo gasp with the suddenness of it.

 

He reached down and cupped Leo's ass, pressing him to his body and lifting him up a little. His tongue, hot and probing, entered his mouth, wrapping tightly around his tongue.

 

When he finally let go, Leo was gasping for breath. Neymar looked at him with smug satisfaction as he leaned on the door for support.

 

"Come here and sit, and let me get you coffee," he said. He reached out a hand and Leo took it. He had to smile, as Neymar drew out a chair for him and kissed the side of his head before going to pour the coffee.

 

He looked around at all the food he had picked up from some fancy place, boxes lying open and pastries on plates. There was a lot of it.

 

"You didn't have to do all this," he said, feeling a bit shy, as Neymar sat down across from him.

 

"Yeah well, don't say I never do anything for you."

 

"When did I say that?"

 

Neymar's eyes sparkled playfully.

 

"Don't even think about saying it."

 

"What are you up to today?"

 

Neymar leaned back in his chair and considered him.

 

"Well...if you don't mind, I was thinking about hanging out with you. Here. Like, all day."

 

Leo could hardly hold back his smile.

 

"Let's see," he said, "maybe you'll have to leave in..."

 

Neymar kicked him under the table.

 

"I like you like this," he said, after a pause. He put down his coffee and reached for Leo's hand. He caressed it softly.

 

"Like what? Half naked?"

 

"Yeah. That too. But I meant, when you're relaxed and not...awkward."

 

"I'm awkward?"

 

"I didn't think so before. But nowadays things are sometimes awkward between us, not totally easy like it was when we were being just friends. Aren't we still friends?"

 

"Of course we are."

 

Neymar lifted Leo's hand to his lips. He swallowed the tip of his index finger, scraping the surface with his teeth a little and Leo felt a tingle go up his spine.

 

"So be easy," Neymar put Leo's hand down, "Like we used to be."

 

Leo bit back a smile and a retort. 

 

  
_Easy for you,_ he thought to himself.

 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss Leo! That is all.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you just hate international break? Here's a little treat to tide you over. xoxo

Geri was one of Leo's oldest and closest friends. They'd been through everything together, and he was always there for him. But right now Leo just wanted him to fuck off. This had to do with the story Geri was currently telling him.

 

_Geri was tired and pissed off after their epic battle with Celta Vigo - which had ended in defeat. He knew - like any good sportsman - that he couldn't afford to think about "what-ifs". The thing to do was to get over it and quickly move on, but it was especially difficult this time. He knew he could have saved the team some points, he was so close. He could've had a hattrick, and the personal glory of it would have merely been the bonus to saving his team. But he'd just missed._

_Someone knocked on his door softly. He was annoyed and didn't really want to talk to anyone, but if one of his teammates needed him he couldn't ignore them. He stood up and walked to the door._

 

_It was Neymar, looking small and vulnerable. He pushed right past him and went straight to the bed. He stretched out, leaning against the headboard, and Geri went and sat next to him._

_"I miss Leo," he muttered sulkily._

_"Don't we all?"_

_"I don't mean for the game. I meant..."_

_"Yeah, I know," Geri cut in a little impatiently, "he's my friend too. I could do with his presence right now."_

_They were silent for a while._

_"Fuck this match, right?" Neymar finally spoke._

_"Yeah fuck it."_

_"I was so close."_

_"Of course."_

_"And you..."_

_He leaned his head on Geri's shoulder. Geri moved his arm and put it around him, marvelling at how small and slender he actually was, like a little sprite with his bright, blonde hair. Such burden on those skinny shoulders. There was a lot of pressure on Geri too, but at least people didn't talk about it all the fucking time._

 

_"Look," he said, "we have to move on. We battled, we came back, but it wasn't meant to be. The main thing is that we didn't give up."_

 

_The silence that followed was more or less comfortable. Neymar's voice was low and playful when he spoke again._

_"If you'd scored a hattrick, I'd give you a blowjob."_

_Geri resisted the urge to laugh out. The kid was joking right? And yet..._

_He glanced down, taking in Neymar's mouth. How come he'd never noticed that perfect, sinful, sexy mouth? Geri could bet the little punk was really good at blowjobs. An expert, in all likelihood. He felt his cock coming to life._

_He moved a finger lightly down Neymar's bare arm. He felt him shiver a little and inch closer._

 

"Well, did you?" Leo asked, trying to keep his tone nonchalant.

 

"Oh man," Geri said, holding his head in his hands, "I was so, so tempted. You know Shak lets me play, but I've never talked to her about Ney. I've never, ever thought about him that way. And our rule is that we have to discuss it _before_ it happens, not after. So nah."

 

Leo tried not to show his relief. He picked up his phone and scrolled through nothing for a few moments. He hoped Geri would change the subject.

 

"Can you imagine though? Neymar? He's probably really good at giving blowjobs right? Maybe I should have, huh? I think I..." 

 

Leo frowned and put his phone down. He wished his dumb, giant friend would shut up. He knew he couldn't control his expressions forever, and it was only a matter of time before he gave himself away. 

 

Geri paused mid-sentence and Leo looked up. He stared at him with those bright, blue eyes.

 

"Leo?" he said, sounding a little nervous, "What's that look sweetheart? Whoah."

 

Leo felt the flush flooding his face.

 

"Leo?" he continued, tone getting more aggressive, "have you fucked him? Oh my god. You've fucked, haven't you?"

 

This was terrible. Leo was not ready to talk to Geri, _like this,_ about Neymar.

 

"No," he replied, turning his face away, "Jesus Christ, Geri."

 

"No? What then? He's blown you hasn't he? He's definitely blown you! Oh my god."

 

Geri started laughing hysterically. Even with his face turned away, Leo could feel his eyes on him, boring into his face.

 

"Leo?" his voice was lower this time, as if something was dawning on him. He stood up and walked over, looming over him. This was something he'd always done, used his physical advantage to get information out of Leo, since they were little kids. Well, since Leo was a little kid. Geri had never really been little.

 

He bent down and cupped Leo's cheek with one of his giant hands. Leo tried to move his face and squirm away, but Geri wouldn't allow it. It was like he had been oblivious for so long about his friend's feelings and now that he was catching on, his focus was laser sharp and he was quickly putting things together in that devious head of his. He was quickly coming to conclusions and when it came to Leo, he wasn't often wrong.

 

"Don't tell me you have feelings for him," he said, " _Feelings?_ "

 

Leo looked down, basically admitting it. His face was red hot, he could feel it. He so didn't want to have this conversation. Geri had a way of making him confront his feelings, and he really didn't want to do that right now.

 

Geri let go and sat down heavily on the sofa. He pulled Leo to him until he was sitting on his lap. He then put his arms around him.

 

"Oh man. I should know you better, I should have known. I'm so sorry for all the shit I said earlier."

 

He stroked up and down his body gently.

 

Oh well, at least it was out in the open between them. He felt something like relief. He nuzzled into Geri's neck, enjoying his warmth and familiar smell.

 

"Only because when was the last time you had feelings, actual feelings, since Kun?"

 

Leo didn't like where this conversation was going. He still didn't want to talk about it.

 

"Don't talk about Kun," he said softly. Geri was territorial when it came to Leo. As far as he was concerned, Leo belonged here in Barcelona with them and the rest of the world could fuck off. He looked up to see Geri suppressing a smile.

 

"Let's talk about Ney then."

 

"Let's not."

 

"You know he only wanted me because you weren't there."

 

"Mm hmm."

 

"It was quite flattering."

 

"I bet."

 

Geri snorted with laughter.

 

Leo smiled up at him and shifted to make himself more comfortable in his lap. He liked the feel of Geri's hand as it moved lightly across his face, tracing outlines of his jawline, cheekbone, nose and then finally, ever so lightly, his lips.

 

"Leo," Geri said, his voice a little hoarse, "what about you and me? We had our fun right?"

 

Leo laughed and slid off Geri's lap, but stayed close.

 

"You used to be so fond of my eyes."

 

Leo looked up smiling at Geri's blue eyes.

 

"That's true, I was," he said. 

 

"Then you found another blue eyed boy didn't you? Are you still fucking him?"

 

"Not lately. I think the last time was before summer. I was thinking about him the other day though." 

 

"Before summer is ages ago."

 

"Yeah. I remember now. Ney had just come to say goodbye before going to the US and..."

 

"You wanted to fuck him but you couldn't."

 

Leo punched Geri's arm, but he was right.

 

"That kid is devoted to you," Geri said. He stood up to leave, "I need to go. You should give him a call. Get laid."

 

"Maybe I will."

 

*

 

"Should I have called first?"

 

Leo started.

 

"Huh? Why?"

 

"Because you haven't let me in yet."

 

"Shit. Sorry."

 

Neymar smiled as Leo stepped aside to let him enter the house.

 

_I was so busy staring at you, I forgot to let you in._

He had been thinking about how he looked. Sweatshirt, hoody up, hands in his pockets, he looked a bit vulnerable.

 

Leo went to the kitchen to get some water. When he went into the living room, Neymar was pacing up and down. He stood on the other side of the room and observed him for a moment.

 

"How are you?" he asked finally, just to say something.

 

"About to go on international break. International break, huh? Didn't we just have one of those?"

 

He stopped moving and looked over at Leo, eyes wide and blinking slowly.

 

Leo knew that what he meant to say was that he was going to miss Leo. He could tell by the way he was restless, the way he'd kept a distance between them, how his gaze faltered and skipped all over the room and how, when his eyes did land on Leo, they stared hard like he couldn't tear them away.

 

His heart ached faintly and his stomach fluttered momentarily.

 

But he wasn't really in a sentimental mood tonight. He stared at Neymar, unblinking, without looking away, until Neymar became completely still. He commanded him with his look. 

 

_Stop moving, Stop talking._

 

And Neymar obeyed.

 

"Come here," he said, softly.

 

Neymar walked to him slowly, shedding his sweatshirt and shoes on the way. Once he reached him, he raised his arms and took off his shirt and put it aside. He was close enough that Leo could hear his soft panting, see his chest rise and fall, and feel the heat radiating off his body.

 

Leo looked at his body as if he was seeing it for the first time. He was already rock hard. He looked over the warm brown skin, the tattoos, the muscles. He was lithe and beautiful. Neymar chewed on his bottom lip nervously. 

 

"Leo," he whispered, "I need you."

 

"I know."

 

Leo trailed a finger from the base of his throat all the way down to his lower abdomen. He slipped his finger inside the band of his trousers, and pulled him towards himself. Neymar sighed and clung to Leo tightly.

 

Leo guided him to the sofa and sat him down. He bent down and flicked his tongue in and out of his mouth, but not allowing him to deepen the kiss. He did this until Neymar started whimpering in frustration. He bit his lip hard. Leo bit back harder, drawing blood, and Neymar moaned out loudly in pleasure.

 

He lay him down and pulled off his trousers and briefs. He undressed himself too, but didn't allow Neymar's hands to roam over his body, batting them away. When Neymar persisted, Leo gripped his wrists tightly with one hand. With the other he pushed Neymar's thighs apart.

 

He looked down to see that Neymar was also already hard, and he stroked over the area lightly. Neymar's breaths were short and shallow. Leo went down, moving his lips lightly over Neymar's entrance. He circled the hole with the very tip of his tongue, listening to his whimpers and moans above him.

 

As he pushed the tip of his tongue inside, he could feel Neymar's hands coming to rest on his head, pushing down and pulling his hair. He pushed in deeper. He felt hungry for his taste, aching in a way he never had before.

 

He licked up and down his entrance with the full width of his tongue, lapping hungrily. He pushed his tongue in and out, twisting and turning deeper and deeper. He put his hands on Neymar's hips and pulled him down, and he almost couldn't breathe. But he didn't care, he just wanted to be inside him, tasting him.

 

"Leo please," he cried out breathlessly, " _please stop."_  


Leo stopped immediately, but Neymar was holding his head down so hard he couldn't look up. And then after a moment, he spoke again.

 

" _Leo please, don't stop."_  


He forced his head up so he could see Neymar's face.

 

"Do you want me to stop or to not stop?"

 

Neymar's eyes fluttered open, hazy green, they came back into focus slowly, and he smirked lazily. Leo realised that he wanted to fuck him hard, make him come apart.

 

He raised himself up and flipped him over on his hands and knees, and Neymar pushed his ass out provocatively. Leo slapped it hard, once, twice, three times.

 

"More."

 

Neymar looked over his shoulder and the look made Leo grab his ass hard, knead it hard to hurt him. But Neymar only looked back hazily, lustily, tongue peeking out. 

 

Leo spread his ass cheeks with his hands and licked and sucked at his entrance again, eating him out vigorously. He felt himself losing control. He could hardly help himself, breathlessly pushing his tongue in until his nose, his face, was buried in Neymar's ass, dripping saliva everywhere.

 

Neymar's face was buried in the cushion, moaning continuously, his hands fisting in the fabric of the sofa. Leo pushed in one finger, two to widen and stretch him. He took his time. He wanted to do everything forever. Work him with his tongue forever, finger him forever.

 

"Please Leo, please, please, please," he begged, his voice high and pitiful.

 

Leo turned him over. He wanted to look at him when he fucked him. Wanted to get completely lost in those eyes, that green haze. He gazed at him, and he felt his breath catch in his throat at the way Neymar looked back at him, pleading, trusting, and full of want. Leo looked over his body, his caramel skin, the outlines of his bones, and his muscles. Leo wanted to possess him entirely, his whole body, but he was so much more than that. There was something inexplicable about him, a kind of light inside him, that Leo couldn't stay away from.

 

He briefly closed his eyes when Leo entered him, but after that he opened them again and their eyes were locked to each other. He knew that Neymar's legs were tightly wound around his waist but he only cared about two things. His eyes, and his cock sliding in and out of him, encased in a tight heat, lube and precome slick and dirty. They got into a rhythm, with Leo thrusting in and out and Neymar moving his hips back and forth in time.

 

Leo bent down to kiss him, and Neymar pushed his tongue into his mouth, sweeping in sloppily. He wanted Neymar to ride him, so he pulled him up and into his lap.

 

Neymar sank down on his shaft, letting out a loud moan, and Leo sank his nails into his skin as he cupped and kneaded his firm ass. Neymar swayed on his lap, rotating his hips and Leo went with it till they were moving together in unison. His movement was beautiful, like a dancer. It was unbearable. Leo wanted to stay in control. He didn't want to go into a frenzy. Not yet. But Neymar was making it very hard for him. 

 

Leo bent him down on his lap, lifting one of his long, slender legs and placing the ankle on his shoulder. He adjusted the angle a little and fucked into him, harder and faster. He knew this position put pressure on Neymar, but he didn't protest, just moaned and breathed quick and loud. Leo knew he was close and his thrusts got rougher and rougher, harder. Their bodies were slick with sweat.

 

Leo pulled Neymar off and made him go on his hands and knees again. He pushed his head down with one hand, placed his other hand on his hip and pushed his cock inside, sliding in easily. He gripped Neymar's hair, gripped his waist and fucked in and out of him. The sound of their skin slapping together, Leo's cock pumping in and out, Leo's moans of pleasure and Neymar's louder moans and whimpers, filled the room.

 

Leo pushed his middle finger into Neymar's mouth, and Neymar swallowed it eagerly, working up and down it, dripping saliva, frantically sucking on it.

 

Leo came then, buried deep inside Neymar, cock pulsing, body shuddering. He groaned loudly, and by the way Neymar's body started to relax, he could tell that he came too. After taking a few deep breaths, he pulled out and leaned his head down on Neymar's back briefly. 

 

After a few moments, he turned Neymar over. He was right, Neymar's stomach was spattered with his own come. His eyes were closed, with tear tracks visible on his cheeks.

 

"Are you okay?" Leo asked.

 

Neymar smiled faintly and nodded, but didn't open his eyes.

 

After a while he did, and Leo gazed at him, unable to look away. 

 

Neymar's smile widened. He bit his bottom lip.

 

"What got into you?"

 

Leo put his hand on his throat and watched as his eyelids fluttered shut, and his tongue flicked quickly over his lips.

 

"You," he said.

 

After a brief silence, he spoke again.

 

"Can I ask you something Leo?"

 

"Mm hmm."

 

"Can I spend the night?"

 

Leo didn't say anything, just kept watching him, how beautiful he was.

 

Neymar opened his eyes.

 

"Please, baby?"

 

Leo smiled and bent down to kiss him, and Neymar kissed back as if he hadn't been kissed in ages, as if he hadn't just been fucked.

 

Leo drew back.

 

"You're not going anywhere," he said, "Don't even think about it."

 

* 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovelies, I hope people are still enjoying this. I know it's been slow, slow, slow to build up. I was quite inspired by that Neymessi moment during the match though, it made me so happy. :D

"How's Neymar?" someone asked.

By this time, having had a fairly heavy lunch, Leo had already tuned out of the conversation. Sitting outdoors in the sunlight, he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, letting someone else answer the question.

Not that Leo had stopped thinking about him during international break. Not after the night they'd had just before he'd left. After the way Leo had fucked him, and the way Neymar had allowed him to fuck him, begged him for it, in fact.

How was Neymar? They'd all seen the images, face covered in his own blood during the match against Bolivia. Leo knew it looked worse than it actually was, and yet...

Some of the team members who were not on international break, were having lunch together. Every once in a while, Leo picked up on the word, his name, _Neymar._ How was he?

_When he was just my friend, he was fun, the happiest guy in the world._   
_When I started wanting him, he was tricky and elusive - and a little infuriating, like he is to his opponents._   
_When he decided he wanted me too, he was bold, flirtatious, and a little outrageous._   
_And when he was in my bed, he was needy and submissive. He let me have control, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I always knew that he was_ **_letting me_ ** _have it_ **_._ **

Leo wished he could say it out loud. Normally, he was very reserved about personal matters and the way some people spoke so directly and openly about all their affairs made him a little uncomfortable. But things had been intense with Neymar lately, and although some of his friends knew about them, it was still this big secret. There was a weird pressure to that.

Someone slapped the back of his head gently and Leo's eyes sprang open.

"You're paying, sweetheart."

Everyone was standing up and getting their things, and a wave of giggles went through the group as Geri handed Leo the bill. Leo rolled his eyes and reached for his wallet.

Later on in the evening, Neymar showed up at his door. 

"I came straight from the airport," he said, dragging his suitcase behind him.

"You smell like it."

"You love it," he murmured in response. He gave Leo a big bear hug, and there they were, in the lobby, just two steps from the front door, in an embrace that seemed like it was never going to end. Neymar clung to him, and Leo held him tightly. He simply didn't want to let go and besides, it felt so warm and comfortable to hold him again.

"You want something? To drink?" Leo finally asked, loosening his grip. He couldn't very well be a terrible host. Neymar clung to him for a couple more seconds before backing away a little.

"I'm fine," he said, smiling a little. 

"Are you? Last time I saw you, you were covered in your own blood."

Neymar grinned and bent down, pecking Leo lightly on the lips.

"That was nothing," he said.

"Let me see."

"It's covered," Neymar said, backing away and bending his head down, "it's just a little scar."

Leo reached up and ran his finger quickly across the small white bandaid over his eyebrow.

"Okay," he said, "it looked bad. I was a little worried."

Neymar gazed at him thoughtfully for a few seconds. He reached out and placed his hands lightly on Leo's waist. 

"You were worried? Aren't you the sweetest?" His voice was low, barely above a whisper, as if he was really moved by what Leo had said. But it was nothing. Of course Leo was worried. Who wouldn't be?

Neymar drew Leo to himself gently and kissed him. 

*

Leo knew the boss couldn't just put him on after halftime. He'd just substituted Luis out, and he couldn't substitute everyone at the same time. It didn't matter though. He felt restless, like a kid who had to wait while everyone else enjoyed themselves. He started warming up early. He really couldn't help himself, even though he knew that people could see him, people were watching him, anticipating his return and cheering when they saw him getting ready.

And then he was finally on, and the goal came quickly. He and Neymar read each other perfectly. Neymar slipped him the ball and he scored the goal and pointed at Neymar as he ran to celebrate. And then Neymar was jumping into his arms, practically climbing him, yelling excitedly. Leo held on tight to the boy in his arms, laughing with thrill and joy of it.

After the game was over, Neymar hustled him quickly to the locker room. Surprisingly it was empty when they reached it, and Neymar slammed Leo hard against the closest locker and bent down to kiss him. They were both breathing hard, and Leo could taste the sweat above Neymar's lip. All thoughts went out of his head, as Neymar devoured his mouth, pushing his hot tongue fiercely inside his mouth, pressing his naked torso hard against the locker. 

Then suddenly there were footsteps, and someone whistling softly, and Neymar sprang away from him. Leo opened his eyes, terrified, and then relaxed when he saw it was only Geri - complete with stupid grin on his stupid face. He glanced over at Neymar, who was wiping his mouth and looking at him questioningly.

"It's okay," he murmured, "Geri knows."

He felt himself going red with embarrassment anyway. It was one thing to know, and it was quite another to catch him with Neymar's tongue down his throat. And besides, what if it had been somebody else? To be fair, he never had time to think. Neymar had been so quick about it.

"Yeah I know," Geri said smugly, "You bastards."

Neymar grinned, looking very pleased with himself.

"Don't be jealous Geri," he said, sticking out his tongue. He put his arm around Leo's waist and pulled him to himself, but at this point Leo pretty much wanted to die of embarrassment so he squirmed away and went to his locker.

"He's a shy boy," he heard Geri's voice.

"Hmm that depends," he heard Neymar, "he's not shy everywhere, if you know what I mean."

Leo slammed his locker door. _What the fuck._ He didn't like this one bit.

Soon everyone was back, and Leo wanted to quickly escape to the showers. He noticed Paco from the corner of his eye though, and he felt he should have a word. He was so bad at this kind of stuff, but he was one of the captains now and apparently people listened to him. So he needed to go and tell Paco that he was doing alright, and not to be disheartened.

He was doing just that, and Paco was nodding at him very seriously. He felt a naked torso plastering itself on his naked torso. He felt immediately distracted, as Neymar's arms encircled his waist, and his forehead landed on his shoulder.

"So what I was saying was that you...you..."

What the fuck _was_ he saying?

Paco kept looking at him, nodding intently.

"Umm so...yes? You know what I mean?" he ended lamely. Neymar was nuzzling into his neck now, and it was really just too distracting. He could hear some low chuckles going around the room. God help this kid if he got a boner now, in front of the whole locker room.

"Yes..." Paco said uncertainly, and Leo could just tell that the young man was trying - and failing - to hide a grin.

"Okay, good." Leo reached out and awkwardly patted him on the shoulder. Neymar clung to him as Leo tried to squirm out of his grasp.

"Come on Ney," Luis said, laughing, "Give us a hug. Clearly Leo doesn't appreciate you."

And now everyone was laughing. Neymar let go, laughing and emphatically kissing Leo on the back of the neck before finally backing away. There were some hoots and whistles. Leo couldn't believe it. He practically fled to the showers.

Neymar sat in the passenger seat of Leo's car. He was all showered and smelling nice. Leo felt his heart beating hard. He hadn't assumed that Neymar was coming home with him, but Neymar had just casually walked out with him without saying anything.

Leo glanced at him as he put on his seatbelt.

"Why are you grinning like a maniac?" Neymar said. He himself was grinning like a maniac.

"I don't know."

Leo tried to control his face, but he couldn't. He was still grinning like a maniac.

"Had fun did you?"

Leo nodded.

"I'm glad you're back."

Leo reached out and squeezed Neymar's thigh. He took a few breaths, and Neymar put his hand on Leo's hand, stroking slowly and easily.

"That's not the only reason I'm happy," he said, hesitating a little.

"Oh yeah? Why are you happy then Messi?"

"I'm happy that you're coming home with me."

"Oh...I'm sorry! Didn't I say? I just wanted you to give me a lift. I'm so sorry you thought..."

Leo pulled his hand away, blushing hard. Of course he knew he was kidding, but it made him feel really annoyed. He started the car, and Neymar started laughing hysterically.

"Oh no no, I'm joking! Don't be mad!"

He reached out to try and hold Leo's hand again, but Leo turned his face away and batted his hand away. 

"Oh come on. Don't be mad, don't be mad! Please, please, please. Give me a second, give me a second. Will you turn off the car!"

Sighing with exasperation, Leo did so, but he didn't look at Neymar. He stared straight ahead.

"Leo?"

"Hmm?" He continued to stare ahead.

"Are you really mad at me?"

"No not _really,_ jackass."

"Oh I see."

"Are you done? Can we go now?"

"Do you still want me to come?"

Leo turned to look at him. He looked dead serious, gazing at him with wide eyes.

"Of course I still want you to come. What kind of stupid question..."

Neymar leaned forward impulsively and covered his mouth with his. Leo gasped and immediately fell into the kiss. It was as if this was the continuation of the interrupted kiss from the locker room, or at least a gentler version of it. Neymar cupped his face with both hands, and kissed him deeply. And Leo kissed back, gentle but intense at the same time, tongues battling against each other but dancing together at the same time. The daylight was dying and it was still and quiet. Knowing that they were in the parking lot, that someone might see them, made Leo feel nervous but excited at the same time.

Finally Neymar drew back panting. He held Leo's face in his hands still, staring down at his mouth, as if he couldn't decide whether to let go or whether to devour his mouth again.

"We should go," Leo said, feeling dizzy and weak. Neymar nodded.

"What if someone saw us?" Leo said later, as they drove to his place. Neymar shrugged.

"What if someone saw us, in the locker room?" Leo wondered out loud, some minutes later.

"You seem obsessed with the idea of being caught," Neymar said, "is that a kink of yours?"

"It is not!"

Neymar laughed.

"It's okay if it is. I quite like the idea myself."

"You would."

After another short pause, Leo decided to bring up something that had been semi-bothering him.

"So earlier," he started, "with Geri."

"Mm hmm?"

"It was kind of embarrassing that..."

"But he knows, you said! Isn't he your boy?"

"Yeah, that's not what I was talking about. Just that when you told him I wasn't shy...you know?"

"OH MY GOD. Are you serious?"

Neymar started giggling.

"I'm serious. I didn't really like that."

"Okay, okay," he stopped laughing, "I get it. You're more a private kind of person, right?"

"Right."

"I'll remember that next time."

"Thanks."

"But Leo..."

Neymar unbuckled his seatbelt, leaned towards him, kissed him quickly on the shoulder, and buckled himself back in. The whole thing made Leo smile fondly.

"It's not like a _huge_ deal, just..." he began.

"It was just a joke. I wasn't going to tell him anything graphic. You know that, right?"

"Well I don't know that. You're always discussing your sex life with everyone, what you did, who you did."

Neymar burst into laughter.

"That's true, I guess," he said, "But that's other people."

"Other people."

"Yeah, not you."

"Right. And I'm...?"

"Not other people."

"But what does that mean?"

And then it was time for Neymar to go quiet.

They were home soon, and Leo discovered that Neymar was in a real mood for kissing today. They walked into the living room, and soon Neymar's hands were all over his body. He bent down and started kissing him - as gently and as intensely as they were kissing in the parking lot, like continuing an unfinished conversation. He loved how warm Neymar's body was, how hot and direct his tongue was, sweeping in and curling around his tongue. He loved how Neymar's hands went through his hair, in and out, and how his leg curled around his thigh.

The kiss grew more urgent and finally Neymar broke it. He got down on his knees and his hands went to Leo's waist.

"Ney, wait."

He stopped and looked up, and Leo felt his stomach churn at the look he gave him. He reached down and cupped his cheek, and Neymar closed his eyes and rubbed his lips against the palm of his hand, and he opened his mouth and swallowed his thumb, sucking it deeply. A shiver went up Leo's spine, and he felt his cock hardening.

"Ney," he whispered, "wait. Aren't you tired?"

Neymar opened his eyes. His eyes looked hazy and unfocussed. He slowly moved his mouth away from Leo's thumb, but he didn't say anything.

"I mean," Leo continued, "maybe I should just make us some food, and we can chill out?"

Neymar's eyes sparkled, and then he grinned. He looked so pleased, that it made Leo smile too. He pulled him to his feet and somehow they fell back onto the sofa, tangled in each other's arms.

"You're very romantic," Neymar said, settling into Leo's arms and stretching out his legs.

"What? You really find that romantic? Being offered food?"

Leo wrapped his arms around Neymar.

"Well yeah. I don't usually get that."

"But you brought me food too."

"Yeah but that was an apology of sorts."

"What for?"

"For not coming to see you the night before."

"But I told you you should go out and enjoy yourself."

"I know. I still felt kind of bad about it."

It felt comfortable, sprawled out on the sofa with Neymar between his legs, arms around his waist and Neymar leaning back onto his chest.

"You're surprisingly thoughtful," Leo finally said.

"Hmm. Only to my really good friends who I also fuck."

"Do you have many of those?"

Neymar didn't answer but turned his head back and smirked. Leo felt a jolt of possessiveness, but he willed it away. Instead he moved his arm and cradled Neymar's head in his hand, running his fingers gently through his curls. Neymar sighed and relaxed even more.

"I always thought you hated people touching your hair."

"I do."

Leo pressed in with his fingers a bit harder, rubbing his scalp.

"Oh really?"

Neymar giggled.

"Yeah. What I like when I'm... _with_ you, that's got nothing to do with anything else, you know?"

"You mean to say, you make exceptions for me?"

"Something like that."

Leo smiled to himself. He continued massaging Neymar's scalp and finally Neymar stretched lazily and, quite unexpectedly, turned his body around so he was facing Leo. He had this mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Leo," he said, "I'm afraid I might fall asleep if you keep making me so comfortable."

"I don't mind if you fall asleep."

Neymar smiled.

"Like I said," he bit his lower lip, "you're very romantic."

Leo blushed, and Neymar laughed and bent down, nibbling on Leo's lip. Leo sat up and drew Neymar into his lap. They kissed slowly, tenderly, with no sense of purpose or rush. Leo felt Neymar's hands raking through his hair. He bent down and sucked at points on his throat. Leo sighed and leaned back, exposing his throat, letting Neymar nibble at it, suck on the sensitive skin. He moaned softly.

It seemed to encourage Neymar, who kissed him lower and lower, along his collarbone, down his chest over the thin material of his shirt. Leo's hands moved down to Neymar's ass, cupping and fondling the firm, muscled cheeks. Neymar moaned and ground down on Leo.

What was a languid kiss turned quickly into an intense make-out session. It was like two teenagers discovering each other for the first time, groping at each other's clothed bodies, grinding their hardening cocks together, lips seeking lips and tongues thrusting in and out of mouths.

Leo wanted him, he wanted him so much, he wanted to worship him. He lifted him off his lap and lay him down on the sofa. He pushed his shirt up and bent down and swallowed his nipple, sucking on it gently. Neymar moaned and pressed his head down, egging him on, but Leo didn't quicken his pace. He took his time, pressing down gently with the tip of his tongue, circling it and blowing warm breath on it. Then he moved on to the other nipple and did the same, with excruciating slowness. It pleased him to hear Neymar's moans of pleasure, the sounds of desperation that were flowing from him.

He bent down, licking along the ridges of his stomach muscles, and pulled off his track pants and briefs. Neymar sighed and bent his legs. His cock was already hard. Leo began with licking up and down his shaft, with the very tip of his tongue. He spread Neymar's legs wide, and lapped across his entrance. Despite Neymar's moaning and pleading, Leo took his time again, licking and sucking at his entrance for ages before even inserting a finger.

He liked how Neymar was shivering and moaning. How every touch of Leo's was making him shudder and cry out in pleasure. Leo made his touches lighter and lighter. He licked at his entrance barely touching it with the tip of his tongue. He ran his fingers up and down his thighs, with the lightest touch from the very tip of his fingers. When Leo pressed his fingers inside him, Neymar howled like he was about to come. When Leo pressed in deeper, finding his spot, he heard a loud, broken sob.

The harder Leo wanted Neymar, the more gently he treated him. The more intense his desire for him, the lighter was his touch. He trailed his fingers all over his body, like a feather, as he slowly undressed himself. Finally, he pulled Neymar up - a shivering, whimpering mess. He drew him back into his lap, and Neymar sank down on his cock, crying out in intense pleasure.

They were still for a long time, breathing heavily, eventually moving but very, very slowly. Leo just wanted to feel his heat around his cock. He held him close, feeling their heartbeats wild against each other. 

"Leo, Leo," Neymar whispered.

Leo looked up to see tear tracks on his cheeks. He stroked his back gently. He noticed that his bandaid had come off and the scar above his eyebrow was small, red and angry looking.

"I hate it when anyone hurts you," he said, before he had time to think.

Neymar smiled.

"You must hate a lot of people!" he said, brushing it off, but Leo could tell that his words had affected him. He reached up and kissed gently just above the scar. Neymar squeezed his eyes shut, and tears streamed down his face freely.

"Do you want to stop?" Leo asked.

Neymar shook his head and opened his eyes. More tears rained down, but his eyes looked intense, almost angry.

"Don't fucking stop," he said.

Leo rocked up and down, moving Neymar slowly up and down his cock. No matter what Neymar did, Leo put his hands firmly on his waist and did not allow him to pick up the pace at all. He had complete control over the rhythm and speed of their fucking. It was slow, so slow and excruciating, yet Leo could feel this immense orgasm building, slowly, slowly, and he could feel Neymar opening up more and more, he could feel his energy rising and rising, becoming an explosive ball inside him.

It took a long time, and now his cock was sliding in and out so easily, their hips were thrusting up and down in perfect time. Neymar was clutching Leo close to him, his hands tight around his head. Their breathing was perfectly in tune. It built up and up and finally Leo could take it no more, he needed the release. He pulled Neymar up and down faster and faster, and Neymar responded by grinding down hard, as if trying to take in Leo deeper and deeper. They were both whimpering together now, gripping each other tighter and tighter. And then finally, Leo bent him down, spread his legs as far apart as possible and fucked into him hard, once twice and he was coming _hard._ He collapsed on top of Neymar before he had even finished coming, pulsing into him hotly, feeling Neymar shuddering and coming between them, splattering both of them with his come.

"Oh fuck fuck fuck," Leo moaned, trying to hold himself up so as not to crush Neymar, but completely failing. He could hear Neymar whimpering pitifully, bringing his legs together to wrap around Leo's waist, gripping his shoulders tightly with his hands, crying out his name _Leo Leo Leo._

Leo couldn't breathe. For the longest time, he couldn't even fucking breathe. He actually had to take deep breaths, consciously. He raised himself off Neymar and stared down at him. He was smiling, eyes looking heavy, face wet with tears. 

"You know that never happened before, except with you, don't know how you..."

His eyes fluttered shut as he mumbled.

Leo reached down and stroked his cheek with his thumb.

"What never happened before?" he asked.

But Neymar was in no shape to speak. Leo looked over him, over his come spattered stomach. He thought he knew what he meant. 

"Hey," he whispered, "Ney..."

Neymar half-opened his eyes and smiled. He looked completely shattered, mentally and physically spent. Leo brushed his hand over his eyelids so that he closed his eyes. He watched him for a moment and then he lay down too, head resting on his hip, hands trailing down his stomach.

Leo woke up some time later, much later. It was dark, a lamp in the hallway was on, so he could see that Neymar had moved on to his side and was fast asleep. Leo's movement, however, woke him up. He sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Did I fall asleep?" he murmured, voice heavy with sleep.

Leo put his arms around him.

"We both did. Come on, let's...

Neymar leaned his body heavily on Leo.

"Well I guess I should...uh...go home now. I need to do stuff, I have things I need to..."

He sounded pretty matter-of-fact, but Leo knew he was half-asleep, babbling senselessly.

"Don't be silly," he said, drawing him closer, "Stay."

"Really? You want me to stay?"

"Of course I do. Why would you leave at this time, it's so late."

"Well I can't assume, you know? I can't assume I'm always welcome to stay, can I?"

Leo grinned to himself. The boy was practically sleep talking.

"Of course you can," he said seriously anyway, "you're always welcome to stay here."

Neymar turned to him, and Leo could make out his smile in the semi-dark.

"Okay..." he said, eyes fluttering shut, body swaying back.

"Let's go up to my room though," Leo said, trying to get him to stand up.

"Nah," Neymar replied, slipping down lower, "I don't wanna walk."

"Okay. I'll carry you."

Neymar's eyes sprang open and he laughed softly.

"You're so...so..." he mumbled, "you're such a romantic."

"Come on."

It took a while, but Leo managed to half-drag, half-carry Neymar up to his bedroom. Neymar clung to him, babbling random things, as Leo cleaned him up and put some clothes on him. 

Finally they lay down on the bed, and Neymar cuddled close to him, wrapping his leg around Leo's waist. 

Leo waited for his breathing to steady. He wasn't sure if he was fully asleep or half-asleep at this point.

"Leo, it was fun," he suddenly said, cuddling closer

Leo laughed.

"Yeah, for me too."

"Good."

There was something so sweet about the moment, it was all perfect.

"I like this so much," Leo mumbled. His heart rate instantly went up, but he couldn't help saying it.

Neymar mumbled something unintelligible. 

"I really like our relationship," Leo said.

Neymar was breathing deeply and steadily now, and Leo assumed he was fast asleep. But then he suddenly spoke again.

"Me too. I like how it's so simple. And casual. You're such a good friend Leo."

Leo closed his eyes, not wanting to think about it, not wanting to let it ruin the feelings that had welled up inside of him tonight. _He's half-asleep_ , he said to himself, willing sleep to come.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I gotta warn that there might be some angst coming up. Right? Right, okay, there might be some angst coming up. Sorry!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh the angst. Here it comes. Sorry! There's some smut too, so I guess it all evens out? xoxo

Leo watched as Neymar and Luis spoke to Kun after the game. He didn't know how to feel about the sight of Neymar hugging Kun. He did the usual post-match stuff, shaking hands, half-embraces. Someone handed him the match ball, for his hattrick.

He caught up to Kun.

"Text me when you're ready, and I'll come for you," he said quickly, before moving on.

Neymar came up to him in the locker room smiling, put his arms around his neck and hung onto him.

"What are we doing to celebrate?" he said.

"Fraternizing with the enemy!" Masche said, from the other side of the room.

"Oh yeah," Leo murmured, "We're meeting Kun and..."

"Great!" Neymar cut in, "where are we going?"

Leo sighed.

He put his arm around Neymar and walked him to a quiet corner.

"I think just Masche and me tonight, okay?" he said gently.

Neymar stared at him, eyebrows raised, expression decidedly unimpressed. Something twisted inside Leo's stomach, as he realised that Neymar was hurt, even though he was trying not to show it. Of course he wanted to hang out and celebrate together after such a great victory.

"But why?" he said, "It seems like the kind of game we should celebrate together."

"Normally I would agree but..."

"You just want to hang out with Kun without me?"

Leo looked at Neymar. The boy looked annoyed, but also earnest, like he really wanted to understand this thing.

"They just lost four-zero. And Pep didn't even start him. You see how he might not be in the best mood? So maybe he wouldn't want..."

Neymar nodded and backed off, holding his hands up like, _okay._

Leo felt that twisting inside his stomach again. He knew he'd just lied. Kun was fine. He'd been smiling. Kun could deal with losses. It would have been fine. Leo could have easily invited Neymar along. But he didn't want to, because he was insecure about what had happened the other night, what Neymar had said. He hadn't brought it up later and, try as he might to deny it, it ate at him a little.

Yet he still felt guilty.

"Maybe I can come over later..." he began, more to assuage his guilt than anything.

Neymar scoffed.

"Well you could, but I might not be home. Okay? Try calling me first?"

He patted Leo on the back, very bro-like, and sauntered away. Leaving Leo to stare after him wistfully.

The next morning at training, everyone was huddled around something in the common room. Leo came in and someone laughingly pointed Leo towards the big central table. There was a huge bouquet of flowers sitting on it. Not just a normal bouquet of flowers, but an absolutely stunning arrangement of really exotic looking orchids. It was huge and completely over the top.

The boys were losing their shit, laughing their asses off. In the midst of this was Neymar, of course.

"What is this?" Luis asked. He'd come in with Leo.

"It's for Ney!" Samuel shouted gleefully, "Look how pretty."

"Who is it from?"

"We went to a club last night and this guy was really, really into Ney. And Ney jokingly told him to send him flowers and he would consider."

The boys burst into fits of laughter again. Leo walked up to the table and looked down at the massive bouquet.

"I guess he was serious," he said, trying to be good natured about it. He caught Neymar's eyes for a brief second before the Brazilian quickly looked away.

"Nah," he said, softly, "it's a joke. Look how ridiculous this is. We were just kidding around."

"You should go out with him though!" Denis piped in, giggling, "just for making the effort."

"Oh yeah?" Neymar bit his lip, glanced back at Leo quickly.

Choruses of "yes!" and "no!" went up at the same time. Then silence.

"Yeah, you should," Leo dropped into the silence. He felt Luis' hand on his back. 

"Well, I kind of liked him. Should I?" Neymar said. He leaned back on the table and looked at Leo, more directly this time. His eyes held a mild glint of a challenge, visible only to Leo.

Leo stared back at him.

"Uh huh," he said softly, and then he turned around and walked away. On his way out, he noticed Rafinha, a little away from the crowd, busy on his phone. Leo sighed as Rafa looked up and gave him an inexplicably dirty look.

Just before he put his phone away to go out to the training pitch, it buzzed. He looked at it. It was from Neymar. It simply said:

_I didn't realise we were doing that._

Leo replied:

_I didn't realise we weren't._

He felt sick to his stomach. He slammed his locker shut and quickly walked outside.

*

Most of them hadn't had enough rest after the Manchester City match, but here they were battling with Valencia. A Valencia that was up for it, and very aggressive. Leo watched in horror as Andres went down clutching his knee, face contorted in pain. He signaled immediately for the medical team, and Leo knew it was bad. Andres knew, and everyone watching knew. This was bad.

This wasn't happening. It _couldn't._

But it did, and there was nothing to do but carry on. The match seemed to last forever, running around, trying to create something. It nearly got away from them, too, but Suarez equalised in spectacular fashion, joining Leo on the scoresheet.

They couldn't lose. And drawing was as bad as losing here. The fans at the Mestalla were a wall of sound. The Valencia players were still playing aggressively. They were running out of time. Leo had the ball, it was probably their last chance to make something of this. He glanced over to his left, caught Neymar's eye. He tried to instill as much of _this isn't over_ as he could in the look he gave Neymar. Everything flowed, from him to Neymar back to him, and a pass to Luis. The whistle blew as Luis was hacked down in the penalty area.

It was unbelievable, mere seconds before the game was over. The crowd went wild, Valencia players protested for the sake of protesting, like they all did. But it was a nailed-down penalty and everyone knew it.

He _had to_ take it. He _had to_ be the one. There was no discussion on this. This was an important one, and he couldn't hand it over to Neymar or Luis, not this time. Everything around him was becoming smaller, blurrier, everything was disappearing into the general mass. It was a kind of focus that came to him sometimes, that lifted him above the crowd and the noise.

He was aware. Luis touching his fists to his hands. Neymar walking to him and cradling his face in his hands and touching his head to his wordlessly, like he was going to kiss him. Diego Alves leaning down, pointing his finger at him and saying shit. Leo didn't really know what he was saying, but he noticed Neymar confronting him, Ivan pulling him away, Masche yelling at him to back off. Leo nodded, like being polite when someone says something to you but your mind is on something else. He placed the ball down, ran up to it and -

The stadium erupted, as the goalkeeper lay on the ground defeated. Leo ran to celebrate, and Denis was the first to jump on him, Neymar was the second. Everyone was in the huddle. Adrenaline rush. He realised he was pissed off, still pissed off. The whole match. Andres' injury. The fucking goalkeeper. And everything else. Even in this crowd, he could distinguish Neymar, like he had some special heat radiating off him. He could tell which was Neymar's hand tapping him aggressively, he could tell that his own hand gripping someone's searing hot body tightly - that body was Neymar's. 

Everyone was screaming in his ears. And then something fell, something was thrown from the crowd and his teammates scattered. Something hit Leo on the head and he lost his shit. He turned to the crowd and celebrated even more wildly, antagonizing them. Busi had turned with him, cursing out too. Leo found himself opening his mouth and screaming expletives towards the crowd, someone pulling him back.

It went without saying that this wasn't his normal behaviour. He wanted to kick someone when he saw it was Neymar on the ground, clutching his head. He tried to breathe, tried to calm himself. He had already lost his cool, and he needed to come down immediately. He bent down and raised Neymar off the ground. 

Usually once victory was theirs, Leo calmed right down. But this time he couldn't. The match restarted for a second, and then the end whistle went. He was aware that some of his teammates were involved in some altercation. He couldn't stick around, not even to shake hands. He was done.

He walked off, still feeling pissed, images in his head. The fucking goalkeeper taunting him. Neymar clutching his head. Andres.

_Andres._

He jogged through the tunnel quickly. He couldn't wait to see him. Andres was sitting on the bench in the locker room. He smiled sadly when Leo came in.

"You're the fucking man," he said, lopsided smile.

Leo suppressed a sob that was rising up inside him. He rushed to him and knelt in front of Andres and took his hands.

"You're here," he whispered, "which means..."

"It's okay," Andres said, pulling a hand away and placing it on Leo's head. He stroked his hair gently.

"Fucking hell. I...I thought..."

"I can walk. Two months, maybe three."

"Okay."

"You can deal with that."

Leo looked up.

"No we can't!"

Andres smiled.

"Oh Leo."

The doors burst open and the rest of the team poured in. Everyone was pumped up, shouting, discussing the various incidents that had taken place. But although there was a fair bit of aggression and swearing among the team, there was a sense of release. There was laughter and joking. Everyone was feeling better.

All except for Leo.

He couldn't explain it. He usually only felt this angry, this stifled and choked up, after a loss. Luis gave him a look, a raised eyebrow, and Leo shook his head. He picked up his towel and trailed a little next to Leo on his way to the showers.

"He's alright, you know?" he murmured.

"What? Who?"

Luis rolled his eyes and nodded towards his left. Leo followed his gaze. Neymar was leaning on his locker and laughing with Denis. 

Leo frowned.

"No. I'm not worried about him," he said.

Luis rolled his eyes again.

"You never worry about him, right? All these footballers hacking at him, all these fans throwing shit at him. It never worries you, right?"

Leo straightened up, feeling annoyed at Luis. Well he wasn't going to admit anything to anyone. Not right now, anyway

"Right," he said grumpily, "It doesn't. He doesn't need me to worry about him, does he?"  
  
He stomped away to the showers.

He sat next to Masche on the way back to Barcelona because at least Masche wouldn't bother him, make him talk if he didn't want to. Masche understood the kind of mood he was in. About halfway home Masche nudged him, smiling.

"Guess what the papers are going to be full of tomorrow?"

Leo glared at him.

"You know they got the lipreaders working overtime..." he continued.

Leo turned away impatiently.

"I liked it, for what it's worth," Masche said, reaching over and ruffling his hair lightly, "I know you're mad at yourself for losing it, but sometimes it's good to let it out."

"Why should I be mad at myself," Leo muttered, but he knew Masche was right. He _was_ mad at himself. The last thing he wanted to do in public was to lose control, and he'd done it in spectacular fashion.

It seemed these days he had less and less control over himself. Over how he felt, what he did. He felt uneasy and unsettled. It was getting dark outside, when Neymar came over and spoke to Masche softly. Leo turned his face away and leaned on the window, pretending that he was asleep. He heard Masche sigh and stand up, and Neymar slipping into his seat.

He didn't say anything for a while, and Leo wondered if he'd managed to pull off fake-sleeping. He really wanted to touch him, of course he did. It was like torture to have him next to him, without touching him, without feeling his skin on his, his mouth...

Leo gritted his teeth to stop himself from getting carried away. His whole body was tense and his jaw was set. Finally, Neymar pressed closer and rested his head on Leo's shoulder. 

"Are you alright?" he whispered.

"Mm hmm. Are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Okay."

"You saved our ass."

"Mmm."

"Why are you still mad Leo?"

"I'm...not."

Neymar moved his body away. 

"Is it okay if I come over tonight?"

Leo took a deep breath. Of course he wanted Neymar to come over. But he also didn't want to deal with...whatever it was that was between them. The good, and the ugly, the uncertain, the painful. It was all too much. But he couldn't make himself say _no,_ or _yes._ So he didn't say anything. Neymar waited and then he finally spoke again.

"Do you not want me to come over?"

Leo pressed his face to the window. Why? Why was he so good at getting at him, under his skin and all that?

In any case, he had to say _something._

"I don't know," he said finally.

"But I'd like to come over, if it's all the same to you. And by the way, why don't you turn around and at least look at me when I'm speaking to you?"

Neymar's tone bothered Leo. It was annoyed, but not angry enough. A melancholic note in it that tugged at his heart. He turned his body to face him. They stared at each other for a while.

"I'm sorry," Leo said. He reached out a hand, to touch his cheek, but Neymar moved out of reach, a frown clouding his face.

"So I'll come over after," he said.

Leo nodded.

"If you want," he said.

Neymar rolled his eyes.

"Just what is your prob..." he began, but he stopped himself.

"Come, but don't stay over. I don't think it's a good idea."

Leo had to make his heart so hard, so cold, to say that. In some perverse way, he enjoyed his own control over himself, his voice, his face gone slack. He could still do this. Neymar couldn't. Everything was written on his face, in the light in his eyes that sparkled or dimmed.

Neymar stood up, looking down, not giving Leo the satisfaction of scrutinizing his face.

"Fine. I have to see a friend later anyway. See you," he mumbled, and walked away.

*

Leo waited in his car for a few minutes. Neymar had insisted on coming over, but he hadn't walked out with him. He wasn't sure what the plan was. The ease that had developed between them seemed to have completely evaporated in the last few days. Leo had this feeling that he couldn't just assume things anymore, couldn't be comfortable in the knowledge that he was coming, he was going to be there, that it was just going to happen because it was _them_. Something innocent was lost, something fragile and precious that they'd been building seemed to be slipping away. Or had slipped away already.

He started texting - _are you coming_

But he couldn't bring himself to send it. It was too...embarrassing or something, needy. How had they ended up at square one again?

He put his phone away and drove home. 

Once home, he couldn't relax at all. There was no word from Neymar. He showered, tried to relax, but couldn't. It was like adrenaline was still coursing through his body. He felt hot and impatient, horny, angry, restless. He considered jerking off. It was more like he wanted to fight with someone, or break something. He couldn't calm down.

Finally, Neymar arrived. They were oddly formal with each other. Neymar hung his jacket in the right place. Leo kept asking him if he wanted something to drink. 

"Why are you still fuming?" Neymar finally said.

Leo caught himself. He hadn't even realised he was pacing, far away from where Neymar was seated. He didn't want to say anything, he didn't want to use any words. He stopped mid-pacing and stood still. He looked at Neymar, properly looked at him. Neymar stood up and came to him. 

He wore tight black jeans and a loose white t-shirt. His arms were so skinny in the loose fitting short sleeves. He walked towards Leo and put his arms around his neck. Leo sighed and let himself be held, all the blood rushing up, making him flushed. It felt like fire when Neymar brushed his lips over his face.

Leo opened his mouth to gulp in some air because suddenly he couldn't breathe at all. He pushed his hands under Neymar's shirt and gripped his warm body. And then Neymar was whimpering and clinging to him. Their lips met and neither of them was interested, for the time being, in any kind of kiss.

Because just touching skin to skin was so fiery and breathtaking. Their open mouths were pressed together, hot breaths mingling, and they both gasped for air, desperately.

Leo moved his hands over his chest, over his back, and removed the shirt and threw it aside. And Neymar leaned into him, bending down and moving his tongue over the sensitive skin at the base of his neck. He pressed down hard, mercilessly, as Leo went weak and helpless, cock springing to life, hands clutching desperately onto Neymar's body.

Neymar pushed him down to the ground and climbed over him, grinding his hard-on over Leo's. Leo spread his legs wide and moaned in pleasure. And then Neymar finally bent down and kissed him.

It was another merciless move. Rough, dirty, and sloppy, biting down hard on his bottom lip. It was the kind of violence that Leo had been craving all along, without having the words to explain it, even to himself.

He let go.

Control was overrated anyway.

Soon he was stripped down, writhing on the carpet, as Neymar took his cock in his mouth, swallowed him whole, deep. He worked his mouth up and down it, and he impatiently spread Leo's thighs apart.

Leo gasped as he felt Neymar's tongue moving down his shaft, moving along his balls, and then finally circling his entrance. He hadn't said a word, but this is exactly what he wanted, what he needed. And Neymar knew it.

He gripped the carpet as Neymar's tongue went in and out of his entrance, teasing, tasting, sucking, and nibbling. Leo let himself get lost in the sensation. The muscular pressure of Neymar's tongue, twisting and going deeper and deeper. He held on tightly to Leo's bent legs and pressed in and out, dripping saliva everywhere.

Leo's whole body was thrumming with extreme sensitivity. Every time Neymar moved his hand to readjust his position, his touch felt like an electric current was passing through it. His cock was standing erect, rock hard.

Again, Neymar read his desire without Leo having to say a word. He raised himself up and sank down on Leo's cock. Leo held his head down with both hands, and Neymar whimpered in response. He sucked up and down, slurping noisily and messily, his hand moving and twisting up and down the shaft.

Leo wasn't going to last very long. He raised himself up, one hand still on Neymar's head, and then he fucked into his mouth roughly. Neymar opened wide, eyes shut, and Leo thrust in and out. 

He didn't ask, and maybe he would have felt bad about it. But the look on Neymar's face made it clear he was fully into it. Leo pulled out of his mouth and came, all over Neymar's face. Neymar moaned and stretched his tongue out, trying to catch all the come on it. He half-opened his eyes and smirked.

"No warning hmm?" he said. There were drops of come on his face, smeared all over his mouth, and Leo couldn't help staring at him, breath ragged and trying to calm down.

"Sorry," he said hoarsely. He licked up the come from Neymar's face, and Neymar opened his mouth as Leo plunged his tongue inside. His whole body shuddered as Neymar sucked his tongue hard. His heart beat wildly as the Brazilian climbed into his lap and clung to him, wrapping his legs around his waist.

It was only now that his body completely relaxed. The knot inside him that he'd carried all the way from Valencia, suddenly and completely unravelled.

Leo stood up shakily, and carried Neymar upstairs. His body felt really tired as he dragged them both into the shower. They both sighed as the hot stream of water hit their bodies. Leo fell to his knees and took Neymar's cock in his mouth. He felt his hands softly land on his head.

Leo sucked him slowly and lightly, head bobbing up and down gently. When he looked up, he saw Neymar staring down at him, eyes focussed completely on him, mouth hanging open in arousal. He smiled a little when he caught Leo's eyes.

Leo placed Neymar's leg on his shoulder and sucked his cock more vigorously, going deeper and deeper, deepthroating him, pressing his fingers into his skin, gripping and kneading his ass. Until he felt Neymar's hands tighten in his hair, a loud broken moan, and the come hitting the back of his throat.

"Leo," he whispered, pulling him up and holding him tightly. 

Leo stroked his body gently and took his jaw in one hand. He wished he could understand. He wished he could understand him, _them._ Or even himself. A choking pain was rising in his chest. He reached up and kissed him gently, took his bottom lip in his mouth. Neymar closed his eyes and Leo didn't. He watched him, his mouth moving sensuously, the water from the shower flowing over his warm brown skin.

They finished showering and Leo grabbed some towels and handed one to Neymar. He turned around to get some clothes out of his wardrobe. When he turned back, Neymar had flung his towel aside and was quickly pulling on his clothes. Leo stood still for a moment, just watching him.

Neymar straightened his clothes and dragged a hand through his wet hair. He turned and caught Leo's eyes. He smiled that disarming smile.

"Hey," he said, for no reason.

Leo had to admit to himself, it was hard to smile back, but he tried it anyway. Maybe there was something in his forced smile that let Neymar know that he didn't really want him to leave. Not now, not yet. He sat down on the bed, and patted the space next to him.

Leo wrapped the towel around himself, suddenly feelingly intensely vulnerable. He went and sat down next to Neymar and Neymar put his arms around him and pulled him close. He pressed his lips to Leo's forehead, to his wet hair, and kept them there, just a gentle pressure, for a few moments.

It was almost like he didn't really want to leave either. Their bodies were leaning into each other, attracted to each other like magnets. But Leo was making him leave, and Neymar was making himself leave.

Finally he did move away, and he did leave.

The next morning Leo woke up fairly late. As soon as he opened his eyes, he felt like shit. Like a hangover without the actual fun part. He felt this completely unsavoury combination of anger and regret and sadness. 

He groaned and shifted in his suddenly too-big bed. He reached for his phone and scrolled through it. He started writing a text and gave up. Decided to make a phone call instead.

The phone rang, once, twice.

"Leo?" the voice on the other end sounded surprised.

"Hey, how are you doing?"

There was a bit of a pause, as if the boy on the other end could hardly believe it.

"Leo!" he said again, as if to start anew, "where've you been? I've been waiting for your call all summer!"

Leo stretched out his body lazily.

"I know," he said, "you feel like coming to see me today?"

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr now because I feel like I don't waste enough time. :)
> 
> leo-dios.tumblr.com


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More angst. :)
> 
> PS: I know Rafinha wasn't called up for the Brazil NT and as such would not have been in Brazil for this chapter. BUT this is fiction, and it was convenient, so there you go.

Football was full of highs and lows. Leo wanted to laugh at himself for embodying this most cliche, most obvious thing. But there was truth to it, and it couldn't be denied.

 

How low was he when they'd been thrashed by Manchester City? And how high when they'd beaten Sevilla. And now losing 3-0 to Brazil, when they so desperately needed a win was perhaps the worst of all.

 

His head hadn't quite been in the game. Maybe it was because of how things had been between him and Neymar lately. The slight pressure of Neymar's cheek - slight, but significant and deliberate - against his beard when he'd tried to quickly move down the line of Brazilian players and have the meet and greet be over with. Neymar had deliberately hugged him properly, not pretending that he was just another player. Sometimes Leo wished he was more like Neymar.

 

After the match, he'd shaken his hand quickly, not lingering, and Neymar had not insisted this time. It was a bit more complicated with Dani Alves. Leo couldn't very well brush _him_ off. They embraced properly and spoke a few words to each other. Just as Leo said goodbye and started to leave, Dani mumbled that Neymar wanted to speak to him later.

 

But Leo couldn't. He didn't want to stick around, send messages, have a word, meet up later, any of that shit. Kun looked at him significantly as he walked into their shared hotel room.

 

"Oh..." he began.

 

"What?" Leo preemptively snapped, knowing what was coming.

 

"I just thought you might be late tonight. Because Neymar..."

 

Leo glared at Kun, which made him stop talking.

 

"Is he going to come here?" he said, after a few moments of silence.

 

"Kun!" Leo protested, "why would he? He's probably busy partying with his team right now. You should know. They're Brazil, we're Argentina. You know what it means to beat each other. So why the hell should he care about how I feel?"

 

Leo stopped, short of breath, heart pounding in his chest. He felt a headache coming on. What had possessed him to talk so much? It was like the words just came out of his mouth. He took a deep breath and looked up and, just as he feared, Kun was staring at him with wide eyes, mouth hanging open. Now there would be hell to pay because now Kun would ask him all kinds of questions.

 

For a few moments, it was like Kun couldn't even formulate any sentences. Then he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Just as he was about to speak, there was a loud knock on the door and they both almost jumped out of their skins.

 

Leo glared at Kun, willing him to just go and open the door. He instinctively knew it was going to be Neymar, and he wasn't sure he could face him.

 

Kun barely said hello at the door before slipping out. Neymar stood in front of the shut door, amused smile playing about his lips. He didn't say anything, but waited for Leo to acknowledge him. This took some time.

 

Leo finally looked up and half-nodded.

 

"So?" Neymar said, expectantly.

 

"Congratulations?" Leo snapped, "didn't I already say..."

 

Neymar frowned and cut in.

 

"Forget it," he said, "that's over now."

 

"Easy for you to say isn't it?"

 

"Sure. But you would've said the same thing to me, if _you'd_ won."

 

"Okay."

 

Neymar smiled. His voice got softer.

 

"Why didn't you wait for me after? Dani said he told you..."

 

Leo shook his head and shrugged.

 

"Cause you had to drag me all the way to your hotel?"

 

He walked closer as he talked, his tone soft and conciliatory. Leo could barely stand to look at him. He looked down at the ground nervously, heart beating wildly. 

 

"Leo. _Leo."_  


Neymar pressed his fingers to his jaw and tipped his face up.

 

"What?"

 

"I know you don't want to see me, but I really wanted to see you. And I guess I'm a selfish asshole, so I decided to come over."

 

Leo smiled, despite himself.

 

"That's better," Neymar whispered. He bent down and kissed Leo's right cheek, and then his left cheek, his lips soft and soothing on his flushed skin. Leo closed his eyes. He felt Neymar coming closer and enclosing him into his arms. His lips landing on the side of his neck, and nuzzling softly.

 

Maybe it was his frustration with how their so-called relationship was going - unravelling before it had even really begun, maybe it was the 3-0 loss, but Leo wanted to fight this. And he wanted to destroy things. Destroy this. Somewhere deep inside, he knew he was capable of doing that in the worst way possible. He could break Neymar, if he chose to. But then again another side of him wondered, did Neymar even care that much about him? Was he just a convenience? Just another guy?

 

"Ney," he said, pushing Neymar off gently. 

 

"What?"

 

Neymar opened his eyes and blinked slowly, as if coming out of a trance.

 

"Don't you...don't you have a party to go to or something?"

 

"I could, but I'd rather not."

 

"Why not?"

 

" _Because_..."

 

"Because what?"

 

"I'd rather be with you, Leo."

 

"Are you for real?"

 

Neymar frowned and took a step back.

 

"Yes, I'm for real! Why are you being like this?"

 

"Well you just had a great victory. I know if it was me, I'd be out with my friends partying. And you're in Brazil! All the beautiful boys and girls throwing themselves at you?"

 

Neymar almost smiled, Leo could see it in his face. But he rolled his eyes instead.

 

"You're _such_ a jerk," he said, "anyway I'm here now. Are you throwing me out?"

 

"I'm not, but I guess I just don't get what you're doing here."

 

"You don't?"

 

"No, I really don't."

 

Neymar took a deep breath.

 

"So you want me to leave?"

 

"Well I didn't say I  _want_ you to leave, but just that..."

 

"Right. I get it. I should be out. But I'm asking you - do you _want_ me to leave?"

 

Leo pressed his lips together, feeling sick.

 

"Okay, let me rephrase," Neymar spoke again, "do you _want_ me to stay?"

 

It was an easy question. It was YES/NO. He didn't even have to speak, he could just nod or something. But Leo couldn't do any of it. He hated himself for it, but he just had no words, and he looked down at his feet and stayed quiet.

 

It was probably the longest silence of his life. He could hear Neymar's breath, inhale/exhale, like he'd just finished the hardest sprint of his life. And then the drag of his feet on the floor.

 

Leo didn't have to look up to realise that he'd turned and walked away, out of the room. He didn't even bother to slam the door, it closed with a sickening little click. 

 

Kun didn't come back. Leo got bored with flicking through the channels and finally fell asleep. 

 

God knows how long he slept, but he was woken up by knocking on his door. Not banging, not even particularly loud knocking, just a steady rhythm drumming on the wood. Determined to be let in. Leo groaned and tried to ignore it, but it just wouldn't stop.

 

Maybe it was Kun, back from some party. But maybe it was Neymar - willing to come back for more, for whatever reason. Leo looked at his phone. It was past 4 am.

 

He stood up and went to the door, heart filling with hope despite himself. 

 

When he opened the door though, it was another young Brazilian. Rafinha looked upset and drunk, and he strode inside without invitation. Leo immediately thought, maybe something happened to Neymar? Or Dani? But why would he think of coming here? He opened his mouth to ask, but Rafinha stopped him with a raised hand.

 

"You're an asshole, Leo Messi," he declared. Leo noted how his hand trembled, how his eyes were full of tears.

 

"Rafa?" he said softly, soothingly, "do you want to sit down? Drink some water?"

 

Rafa slowly lowered his hand. He nodded miserably. Leo went and got a glass of water, and when he came back he found Rafa sitting on his bed, clutching a pillow to himself like his life depended on it.

 

He gratefully took the water and gulped it down.

 

Leo sat down next to him.

 

"So what's going on?" he finally asked.

 

"I'm sorry," Rafinha replied, looking down and shaking his head, "I'm sorry Leo, but I don't understand you. I don't _get you."_  


"What do you mean?"

 

He shook his head in frustration, like his words weren't good enough to explain just why Leo Messi, in his opinion, was an asshole.

 

"It's like...maybe when you're a genius, you're stunted in other areas? Is that why I can't make sense of you? Is that why you're so weird?"

 

The words flowed out of the young man in a rush. Obviously he was drunk, but it struck Leo that this wasn't just drunkenness talking.

 

"Well I don't know about "genius," Leo replied finally, "but you're right that I'm weird and...er...stunted."

 

Rafinha stared at him.

 

"I don't get it," he repeated.

 

"Why are you upset Rafa?" Leo asked.

 

"I'm upset with _you._ Leo! Why do you treat him like...like...he doesn't mean anything to you?"

 

"Who?"

 

Leo stared back at Rafinha blankly. Like hell he was going to discuss this shit with this kid. This drunk and furious kid. 

 

Rafa ignored Leo's blatant attempt at evading the question, and continued on his own tangent.

 

"You've somehow convinced him that he should be playing the field! That he should just go for whoever..."

 

Leo scoffed loudly at that and it stopped Rafa for a moment.

 

"If you're talking about who I think you're talking about, is this some kind of joke? _I_ convinced him to play the field? I made him do it? Are you serious? Have you met the guy?"

 

Rafa waved his hand dismissively.

 

"Leo," he said, firmly this time, sounding a lot more sober, "He does what he does, and I know I have no right to be upset, okay? I'm man enough to admit that it's hard to see him fucking around, as if I don't even exist. But you know something? At least if it's _you,_ I can live with it. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

 

"I really don't."

 

Again Rafa waved dismissively. Like Leo wasn't almost 30 years old, and Rafa wasn't basically a child.

 

"If it was _you,"_ he repeated, significantly, "at least I'd know it's more than just fucking around. At least it would be something. True love, or whatever."

 

Leo held his breath. Rafinha picked up his glass and drank deeply. He knew how close Neymar and Rafa were. Despite having been woken up in the middle of the night, Leo's foggy brain was already trying to analyse his words. What they meant, what it meant about how Neymar felt. 

 

But no. This was all dangerous nonsense. He couldn't deal with this. He couldn't go there.

 

"True love," Leo said, putting the full coldness of his dismissal into his voice, "oh man. What have you been smoking anyway?"

 

Rafa nodded and stood up. He seemed to have recovered fully now. He cleared his throat and, a little absurdly, gave Leo his hand. Leo took it. His grip was warm and firm.

 

"Leo," Rafa said, his deep voice sounding older than his years, "I'm sure you know what you're doing. But he's not just a fuckboy, you know?"

 

He didn't wait for Leo's answer. Patted him on the arm and left. Leo stood in the middle of the room, perplexed and lost. He wished Kun had been there. He wished _someone_ was there with him. 

 

He felt an ugly feeling rising in his stomach, bitter in his mouth.

 

*


	13. Chapter 13

He missed him. He knew he missed him. His particular way of touching him, his way of climbing into his lap easily, his graceful moves. And the way he kissed him. Leo didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about the slow, lingering kisses. And he certainly didn't want to think about the hard, dirty kisses. He just knew he missed Neymar.

But it only fully hit him when Neymar showed up at his house, early on Sunday morning. He kept a distance at first, his expression wary, his movements careful.

"Are you feeling better now?" he asked.

Leo had completely recovered from the stomach bug that had kept him out of the Malaga clash. He said as much. He noticed that Neymar looked exhausted. He knew how he would have felt too, if he'd played that match and lost.

Leo had thought that maybe he should make excuses, tell Neymar he needed to rest, or something. But he couldn't do that to him.

Instead, he put an arm around him and led him inside.

"You did well yesterday," he said, and Neymar just squirmed and made a grunting sound.

"It's true, I mean it," Leo murmured, turning and kissing the side of his head. Neymar made another strangled sound.

Leo led him into the kitchen.

"Why are we going in there?"

"Breakfast."

"I already ate."

"No you didn't. It's way too early."

Leo practically pushed him into a chair. He put a cup of coffee in front of him - his cup of coffee - and went to work making scrambled eggs for both of them.

Neymar didn't say anything, until Leo was done and he placed a plate in front of him. Then he looked up and grinned.

"Breakfast," he said, somewhat incredulously.

"Yes?"

Leo was starving. He picked up his fork and started to eat. Neymar still stared at him, grinning. Leo stopped.

"What?"

"Actual breakfast. Eggs and stuff."

"Yeah, so? You're familiar with the concept?"

He picked up the cup of coffee and took a sip. Neymar reached out and neatly plucked it away from him.

"That's mine!" he said.

"It was mine before you showed up."

Neymar took a big gulp. He was laughing and started choking on the coffee. Leo rolled his eyes and stood up. He patted Neymar on the back a few times, until he stopped. 

The Brazilian wiped his eyes and sat back, staring at Leo.

"What's wrong with you?" Leo said, "you know about breakfast and coffee, no? Eat something. Do you want me to make you more coffee? Do you want to eat something else? I can make some..."

"Stop," he murmured, reaching out and touching Leo's hand lightly.

He picked up his fork and started eating too, but his eyes were on Leo, and Leo could feel it.

"What's the deal?" he asked finally.

"Just...it's funny. You're Lionel Messi. And you're just making breakfast, eggs and all."

"You mean you don't make breakfast?"

"Not if I can help it."

"Ever?"

"There's a reason I have the best Brazilian cook as my personal chef."

"Well I don't always cook. But I like to have the house to myself on weekends, so everyone gets a day off."

"That's nice."

"Yeah. I mean when you have...people over? Don't you want some privacy?"

Leo felt his throat dry up and he forced himself to finish asking the suddenly awkward question. He looked down quickly, feeling Neymar glance up at him.

"I usually contain my...er..activities...on one floor," he said. Then he burst into giggles.

Leo snatched the coffee cup from him, somewhat spitefully.

"What?" Neymar said, still giggling, "you like to do it in the kitchen?"

Leo could barely remember what else happened after that. It was a big blur. He hadn't meant to, but he'd stood up and dragged Neymar up with him, pushing him against the kitchen counter. And now Neymar was perched on the counter, long legs wrapped around Leo. 

Leo leaned down and kissed him, bracing himself against the edge of the counter. He could feel Neymar's hands on his bare skin, under his T-shirt, his touch cool and fiery at the same time. 

Neymar was trying to pull away, but Leo didn't let him. Kept kissing him until his lips were raw and red and puffed up. 

"Leo," he gasped, turning his head away, "please, please."

Leo pounced on his exposed neck and sucked and licked until Neymar cried out, almost on the verge of sobbing.

"Please," he begged, "please fuck me."

Leo didn't even bother to undress himself or Neymar. Didn't have time. Didn't have patience. It was too urgent, Neymar needed it too much, _he_ needed it too much. He pulled him down and bent him over the counter. Just pulled his jeans down. Again it was blurry, one action to the next seemed to happen all at once. Neymar was braced against the counter now, and Leo was fucking into him, grabbing his ass and spreading the cheeks with his fingers.

_Harder harder harder_

Neymar's eyes were squeezed shut, cheek pressed against the cold counter. He kept urging Leo to go harder, to go faster. Not that Leo needed the encouragement. It was like something had taken over him. He reached out and wrapped his hand around Neymar's cock. It was hot and leaking, and he came instantly in Leo's hand. Leo didn't last long after that, thrusting in and pressing his whole body down on Neymar's. And there he remained, until his body had stopped shuddering, until his cock had finished emptying inside Neymar, until his heart started to beat at a slightly more natural rate. He was shivering, and he could feel Neymar shivering under him.

"Come on," he said, pulling out, "come on, come on."

He turned Neymar around and pulled him into his arms. Neymar's body was limp, eyes closed, sweaty clothes sticking to his skin. He whimpered a little and settled into Leo's arms, leaning on him and letting him hold him up. Leo breathed in and out, trying to slow down, rocking Neymar in his arms. He pulled him back and kissed him, slow and gentle, until Neymar started rubbing up against him again, eyes still closed, tears running down his cheeks.

This time Leo took him upstairs and undressed him completely. He did everything slowly and deliberately, with full awareness. In his bedroom, the sun was coming in from the windows and falling directly over the bed. He laid Neymar down carefully, naked, golden in the light. He kissed him all over, his mouth, his jawline, his neck, his nipples, his abs, his hipbone, and then spreading his legs wide - he sucked gently over his entrance. Neymar moaned and Leo pressed his tongue in, tasting his own come. He placed his finger over the entrance and slowly rubbed circles around it. Finally he pressed in, and it slipped in easily.

Pushing his finger in and out slowly, he used his other hand to stroke Neymar's already hard cock. Neymar moaned and writhed on the bed, his fingers gripping and loosening over the sheets. Leo crooked his finger up and Neymar cried out sharply. He kept the pressure up, at the same time stroking his cock harder and faster.

Calling out his name, Neymar came again, cock throbbing hotly. He opened his eyes slowly and they shone green and gold in the sunlight.

"You bastard," he said, smiling lazily.

Leo pulled his finger out and pushed Neymar's thighs further apart. He stared down at his inner thigh, where there was an unmissable purple mark. It wasn't one of his. He bent down and, without warning, started sucking hard on the opposite thigh.

Neymar yelped in surprise and grabbed Leo's hair, but as Leo continued, his grip loosened and he let him, moaning softly.

Leo stopped and examined his work, a bright red, angry mark on Neymar's warm brown skin. He glanced up and Neymar rolled his eyes. He placed a hand on Leo's face, cupping his cheek. Leo closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek against Neymar's palm.

"Don't be such an animal," Neymar murmured, "marking your territory."

Leo kissed the mark he'd made, softly, tenderly, rubbed his beard against Neymar's inner thigh. He liked being like this, between his spread out thighs, Neymar's hands playing with his hair.

"I know," he said, "I know you're not mine."

"I'm nobody's," Neymar said.

Leo looked up, and Neymar was gazing down at him. 

"You know we can't go on like this," Leo said.

Neymar nodded.

"Come here Leo," he said, finally, "come up here."

Neymar held him close, and Leo wanted to disappear into his arms.

"We can't do this," he said. He kept saying it, and Neymar kept nodding, rubbing his hand up and down his back gently.

The sun was warm on both of them, and it was comfortable and pleasant. Finally Leo drew back and kissed Neymar on the mouth. He shook his head.

"Ney, we can't go on like this," he repeated.

"I know we can't."

Leo could feel his eyes fill with tears. He would do anything in the world to not shed those tears. He steeled himself.

"I can't have these days with you, and then...and then...watch you with others."

"I know."

Neymar's voice was a whisper now. His eyes were shining, whether it was just the sun or whether it was tears, it was hard to tell. 

"I just can't do it."

"I know."

"You get it?"

"I get it."

"So we have to end this. Right?"

Neymar stared at him for a few moments, eyes unblinking. And then he slowly nodded his head.

"Yes," he whispered, "yes."

*

Leo felt compelled to do the "captain thing". Going around the plane, talking to everyone. They'd had a good victory at Celtic Park and were flying back home.

"How's your foot?" he said, slipping into the empty seat next to Gerard.

"I'll live."

"Good."

"You okay?"

"Hmm."

"You were great."

"So were you. You don't get enough credit."

Geri grinned.

"Don't worry about it. If you say I'm doing well, that's good enough for me."

Somehow that made Leo blush. He impulsively reached up and kissed Geri lightly on the lips.

"See that? That's what makes me work hard," Geri said with a giggle. Leo punched him in the arm.

"Do you know what's wrong with Ney?" Geri asked, out of the blue.

"No. What do you mean? He did well no?"

"He seems...off. Angry. Is that something to do with you?"

Leo shook his head, but he looked down and couldn't look Geri in the eyes.

"Leo..."

"What?" he snapped.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing!"

"Are you two still...you know?"

"No, we're not. We decided...not to."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. So what?"

Geri raised his palms.

"So nothing. Except that..."

He frowned and stared at Leo for a bit.

"Except what?"

Leo really didn't want to hear what Geri had to say, but he was going to say it anyway.

"Except that you love him. Don't you?"

Leo could feel his whole body tensing up. He had tried not to think about _that._ Of course Geri wasn't the first one to mention the word "love". Rafinha had thrown around "true love". But that was just a kid, a drunk kid. This was Geri. Geri who knew him like no one else did.

"Hey."

Geri pushed a palm against his shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

Leo shook his head and stood up. He needed to talk to everyone else. Marlon, the youngster who'd had his debut today. Surely he needed some words of encouragement.

*

He promised himself he wouldn't go inside. That would be too dangerous.

 When he drove up Neymar's driveway, he saw that several young friends of his were outside, doing god knows what. He greeted them and one of them went inside to fetch Neymar. It was kind of cold, and everyone was outside and, because of Leo's reluctance to go inside, they ended up going inside Leo's car to talk. They sat in the backseat, facing each other. Leo felt stupid.

"Hey," he said, taking Neymar's hands in his. 

"Hey." Neymar smiled a little, "Don't you want to come inside?"

Leo shook his head.

"I just wanted to check if you're okay."

"Couldn't you have texted or called?"

"I wouldn't be able to tell if you're lying."

Neymar chuckled.

"Okay, sure. You have a point."

"You were sleeping on the plane so..."

"It's okay Leo. You came to check if I'm okay. That's sweet of you. And I'm okay. Really, I am."

"It's just that..."

"The mood? The anger thing? It's nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"You know I'm always there for you, right?"

"I know that."

"And we'll always be friends?"

"Are you trying to convince yourself or me?"

"What?"

"You don't have to...I know you care about me, Leo."

"Okay. I..."

"I care about you too. A lot."

Neymar squeezed his hands. Leo found it hard to breathe. He wanted to say so much, but the words wouldn't come out.

"I know you do," he barely whispered, "I...you can come to me, you know? If you feel bad about anything."

Neymar smiled at him then, and his smile was sweet - like always - and sad, too, which broke Leo's heart, the thought that it was him who had made him sad.

"Look, we can't stay in here forever," Neymar said, letting go of his hands, "you want to come in or..."

Leo shook his head.

"No. I...can't. I'll see you at training."

Neymar nodded and turned away, opening the door. The air that rushed in was freezing, and Leo shivered.

*


	14. Chapter 14

It was Geri's idea. Leo was quite content to spend Thursday night at home, relaxing, watching a movie, whatever.

 

Geri said, "You need to get out."

 

Leo wasn't convinced. But then Geri said, "I think the team needs it." He couldn't say no to that. Masche called him later, sounding annoyed that he had to have a night out.

 

"Don't be such an old man," Leo told him. He called Luis, wondering maybe they could go together. He knew Sofia was out of town with the kids.

 

"You know Ney seems to be a bit off lately," Luis started on him, in the car. 

 

"Oh yeah?" Leo pretended to be concentrating really hard on his phone.

 

"Yeah. How are things between you?" Luis persisted.

 

"Well, we are not..." Leo shook his head.

 

Luis nodded. 

 

"It won't affect our game," Leo quickly said, and Luis glanced at him, shaking his head.

 

"I'm not worried about that," he said.

 

"What _are_ you worried about then?"

 

"You know what." Luis reached out and slapped the back of his head.

 

It was one of Geri's favourite places in the city. He and Shakira were regulars here, and all of them were escorted through a private entrance. It had everything, a restaurant, several bars and lounges, and dance floors. Leo didn't mind this place, since there was always a quieter area to move to if it got too much.

 

Geri was greeting everyone, and he hugged Leo hard and spun him around, much to his embarrassment. 

 

"You see," he said to a man in a suit next to him, "I've finally got Leo Messi in your place."

 

He turned to Leo, "He always begs me to bring you."

 

The man smiled and shook his hand. It was his job to be discreet, and no matter how excited he was or wasn't, he held it in check. 

 

Shakira arrived, wearing a beautiful black dress, and waving hello to people around her.

 

"Leo!" she said, "come here, give me a hug!"

 

Leo hugged her, and he noticed the worried look she gave him.

 

"Gerard said you're a bit sad," she said, "what's going on? I don't like seeing you sad."

 

"I'm not," he mumbled, blushing, "I'm happy to see you."

 

She gazed at his face for a couple seconds more, looking directly into his eyes in that disconcerting way she had. Then she smiled.

 

"I'll buy you a drink then," she said, "that will cheer you up."

 

For some reason, people kept buying Leo drinks as the night wore on. And of course the club owner kept sending him free drinks too. 

 

"I would like to pay for _something_ ," he found himself slurring at one point. He was sitting sprawled out on a very comfortable sofa in one of the lounge areas. Masche was sitting to his right and Ivan was spread out on the other side, leaning his head against Leo's shoulder. 

 

He laughed.

 

"You should," he said, sitting up. "Hey, hey come here!"

 

Leo looked up to see who he was talking to. Samuel and Denis appeared together, looking hot and sweaty, like they'd been dancing for hours. They were grinning happily.

 

"What are you guys drinking? Say something expensive." Ivan asked.

 

They looked at each other and grinned. Ivan nodded towards Leo.

 

"It's on Messi," he said laughing.

 

Leo reached for his wallet and gave it to Denis. 

 

"Go on, have fun," he said, and the two went away laughing.

 

Masche looked at him and rolled his eyes.

 

"You're very drunk aren't you _boludo_?"

 

Leo shrugged.

 

"That was our teammate Denis Suarez I gave my wallet to right, and not some random person?"

 

Masche scoffed.

 

"Well let me know when you feel like leaving, and I can drive you."

 

It was a while after, maybe hours - Leo had stopped keeping track of the time - and he was tired. Completely exhausted, even though he had mostly been sitting down. 

 

"I need to say goodbye to Geri," he told Masche, "and see if Luis wants to leave." He wandered around for a bit, feeling a bit lost and disoriented. The lighting seemed to have gotten brighter, the music louder, with more bass.

 

He pushed his way through the crowd, thinking he spotted Geri. But it was just a tall guy with a short girlfriend.

 

Finally, he was ready to give up. Geri would understand, and Luis could either drive himself back, or get a car service if he was too drunk. He thought he saw Rafinha dancing in the corner, with a crowd of young people. He hadn't seen Neymar tonight at all. He wondered if he was avoiding him, or he had just not come. Or maybe he was in that crowd of dancing people, with Rafa. He knew Neymar loved dancing, loved to move, would do it all the time if he could.

 

He shook his head to snap out of it. Making his way back to the lounge where Masche was waiting for him, he got lost again. He must have exited through the wrong door, but suddenly he was in a completely different room. It was small, and the first thing Leo noticed was that there was a single person up on the stage, singing in the most angelic voice, accompanied only by a guitar.

 

He glanced around him, realising that the space was only lit by candles. It gave it a pretty yet ghostly vibe. People were either standing and swaying gently to the music, or huddled on tables, talking quietly.

 

Leo wished he'd found this place earlier.

 

He gazed up towards the singer, reluctant to leave. The voice floating towards him was high and crystal clear.

 

_Maybe I'm too young, to keep good love from going wrong_

_but tonight, you're on my mind so you never know_

_Broken down and hungry for your love_

_with no way to feed it_

_Where are you tonight, child you know how much I need it..._

Someone bumped into him as they moved across the room, and it jolted Leo out of his trance. The person who bumped into him apologised and moved on, and Leo looked around him.

 

Suddenly he saw him, at the very far corner of the room. It was unmistakably him, even though he was half-covered by a man who was leaning over him. Everything else became background noise. The crowd, the singer's voice, the soft twinkling lights of the many candles that lit the room. The only thing Leo could see was Neymar, leaning against a wall, palms flat against the surface, eyes closed and kissing someone passionately. That someone was tall and muscular, and he had one hand cradling Neymar's neck, and the other hand was roaming inside his shirt.

 

Everything inside him told him to leave, run away, stop watching. But Leo was transfixed. They were quite far away, and it was dark, but Leo could make out every little thing. How the man's hand moved possessively over Neymar's body - now it was moving down towards the band of his jeans. He noticed how Neymar squirmed against him, how his leg moved to wrap around the man's leg, how his hands were now on his chest, rubbing up and down. And how the man moved to suck on his neck, and how Neymar threw his head back, biting down on his lower lip.

 

Leo wanted to throw up, or go and punch that guy in the face. One thing he couldn't do, the thing he _needed_ to do, was leave. He had to leave, he kept telling himself to leave, but he couldn't move.

 

"Hey, aren't we leaving?"

 

He felt an arm around his shoulder and he snapped out of it.

 

He could hear the song again, the singer's voice getting higher as it neared the end.

 

Without a word, he turned and fled, with Masche muttering after him, telling him to wait the fuck up.

 

*

 

"I need to throw up. Pull over somewhere."

 

"Oh fuck, really. I didn't realise you drank that much. Hold on."

 

Leo knew Masche disapproved, but he wasn't going to say anything. This is what he loved about Masche. Luis would have probably made him talk. Geri would have forced confessions out of him. But Masche let him be. Masche pulled over to the side of the road. Masche didn't say a word as Leo stumbled into some bushes and threw up violently. And he certainly didn't rush Leo, who decided to stand outside in the cold for a good ten minutes, breathing in the cold air.

 

He took out his phone and started texting.

 

_Sorry for the late text. If you're up, come over?_

He waited for a bit. The reply came soon.

 

_Leo! Of course I will. Give me half an hour._

Leo got back in the car, and Masche silently handed him a bottle of water. 

 

The boy arrived at Leo's house exactly after half an hour. 

 

"Oh you look sad," he said, ruffling Leo's hair lightly. Leo wished he wouldn't do that. He fell to his knees and gazed up at Leo. Leo looked down at his big, pale blue eyes, like two pools of water. He cupped his face and closed his eyes, imagining different coloured eyes as he guided his mouth towards his cock.

 

Leo usually didn't fall asleep with him. He'd never even been up to his bedroom, after all this time of knowing him. Usually he left right after. But Leo was so exhausted, he must have just dozed off. He woke up with a jolt. His phone was vibrating. He looked over to see him sprawled over the sofa naked, wavy hair all over his face. 

 

Leo looked at his phone. It was his security guard.

 

"Hello."

 

"Sir, can I send a car inside now? It's Neymar."

 

"Oh ok."

 

Leo hung up the phone, dazed. He stood up slowly, rubbing his eyes and stretching, wondering what the hell time it was. He had a blinding headache. He could hear the car approaching. Someone opening the front door. The security guard must have accompanied him up to the house.

 

Why was Neymar here? He quickly put on his boxers and threw a discarded shirt across the boy's bare butt. When he opened the living room door and stepped out, Neymar was already standing in the lobby, looking around nervously.

 

They both didn't say anything for a long, excruciating moment. And then they both started speaking at once.

 

"Hey, Leo I just..."

 

"Ney, what are you..."

 

Neymar stopped and smiled, running a hand through his hair. He took a deep breath. And then another.

 

"Leo," he said, firmly, decisively, "can I? Can I come in and talk to you for a minute?"

 

"Um...okay?"

 

Leo pressed his fingers to his temples, willing his headache to go away. He wished he could think clearly.

 

"Are you alright?"

 

Neymar was walking towards him, frowning and looking at him with concern. But Leo couldn't help thinking about his last image of Neymar, throwing his head back as some guy kissed him and sucked his neck. He raised a hand, and Neymar stopped in his tracks.

 

"Yes. Yes, I'm alright."

 

"Okay, I see I woke you up. I'm sorry. I just want to...it won't take long, okay?"

 

Before Leo knew it, he'd moved towards the door of the living room and opened it. Man, he was quick. He froze in the doorway though, and then spun around to face Leo.

 

"Oh," he said, staring at Leo, "I see."

 

"Ney, I..." Leo began, but there was really nothing to say.

 

"No. Actually. I just came to give you this."

 

Neymar reached into his pocket.

 

"Here. Denis said he couldn't find you."

 

He handed Leo his wallet.

 

"Oh you didn't have to..."

 

"It's okay!"

 

And now Neymar couldn't wait to flee. He rushed towards the door, and Leo couldn't even find a way to make him stay. To ask him what he wanted to talk about, to say anything at all. Because the truth was that there was a naked man in his living room, and sometimes that just meant there was nothing more to say.

 

"Training," Neymar was muttering as he left, "see you tomorrow at training."

 

Right. Leo internally cursed Geri. Why did he think it was a good idea to have a night out, when they had training the next day?

 

He knew he was being an asshole when he woke the guy up. It was the middle of the night. But he got up without protest, seemed to almost expect it.

 

"Hey, sorry I fell asleep!" he exclaimed, looking around for his clothes, still cheerful.

 

"I can't see you anymore," Leo told him, as he stood at the door.

 

He bent down and kissed Leo on the cheek.

 

"Sure," he said, with an infuriating smirk on his face, "well, call me when you change your mind."

 

*

 

How many types of miseries could there be?

 

Leo knew that only a few people could tell when he was unhappy. Sometimes even his closest friends took some time to catch on. He was grateful for this. At training, he went through the motions like a zombie. He had a mild hangover, and he let everyone believe that's what made him quiet and reserved today.

 

Luis drove them to training, and he told him he had a headache so there was no expectation of conversation.

 

Neymar was the opposite. It was blatantly obvious to everyone that Neymar was upset about something. He didn't want to be there. His whole face was clouded over, and he could barely focus on anything. Every time they had a break, he would go off on his own, kicking a ball by himself, or just staring off into the distance.

 

Leo tried to avoid him. He was drawn to him, all he wanted to do was go and put his arms around him. But he didn't want him to break down. He seemed on the verge, frail and brittle. And Leo didn't want to do or say something that might set him off. So he avoided him. They both avoided each other, so that they were never in the same group during training exercises.

 

It was a long and awkward morning. In which all Leo heard from everyone was _what is wrong with Ney? Is Ney okay? Is he sick?_  


It was all anyone could discuss because it was like something had blotted out their sun. It just wasn't the same without Neymar playing pranks, laughing, dancing, and joking in the locker room and on the training pitch.

 

Finally, it was time to go. Leo was about to leave when Luis Enrique stopped him. He also called over Neymar since he wanted to talk to both of them about some tactics. It was unavoidable and Leo tried to keep his attention on the manager. Neymar kept his eyes on the ground the whole time, simply nodding in response and not saying much.

 

"Okay then, off you go!" The boss clapped both of them on the back and pushed them forward. Leo couldn't help noticing how Neymar flinched as their shoulders touched. Flinched and moved away from him. Jogged away quickly from him, in fact.

 

This was ridiculous.

 

"Ney!" he called out, jogging after him, "wait!"

 

But he didn't stop, kept jogging away and Leo ran after him. Finally just at the entrance to the locker room, Neymar stopped and bent down as if to catch his breath.

 

Leo caught up with him finally.

 

"You heard me. Why the fuck didn't you wait?" 

 

Neymar didn't answer.

 

"Ney..." Leo put his hand on his shoulder. To his shock, he realised that Neymar was not just breathing hard, but he was crying, chest heaving, tears dropping down on the concrete floor. He tried to shrug away Leo's hand, but Leo tightened his grip.

 

He started crying harder now, sobbing audibly, his muscles tensing under Leo's touch.

 

"Ney, Ney, what's wrong, please..."

 

But nothing he said would make him stop. Leo knew everyone inside could hear them. That was the whole team, and assorted staff. He tried to bend down and hold him, but this time Neymar shrugged him off violently.

 

"Don't touch me!" he cried out loudly, shockingly loudly. Leo took a step back, alarmed at his tone, at his vehemence.

 

"You have no fucking right!"

 

There was an eerie silence - the buzz of voices from inside the locker room had completely stopped - and Neymar's voice reverberated loudly in the hallway.

 

Leo opened his mouth but Neymar pounced again.

 

"Don't say anything, Messi. Don't try to say anything."

 

Leo nodded slowly, hoping that his silence would calm him down.

 

"Don't try to act all concerned. You don't give a fuck. You don't give A FUCK. Just let me be. What's it to you?"

 

"Ney, you know I care..." Leo started, his voice small and timid.

 

"Shut up!"

 

Again Neymar's voice rang out loudly.

 

"Okay," Leo whispered, "I'm sorry."

 

Neymar shook his head. His hands were tightly clenched into fists by his side. Leo could see that he was shaking, shaking badly. 

 

"You said you hate it when anyone hurts me," he said, his voice rising higher.

 

"I do," Leo murmured, more to himself. In fact, he wasn't sure his voice actually came out.

 

"Well _you're_ hurting me!" he screamed out angrily, tears streaming down his face. With that he turned around and stormed into the room, slamming the door shut. Leo could hear things crashing to the ground, against walls. The buzz of voices had restarted. He pressed his back against the wall opposite the door and slid down to the floor.

 

"Well I hate myself for it," he said, again to himself.

 

He covered his face with his hands and just stayed there. For a long time, until everyone left. No one dared say anything to him. 

 

"Rafa is driving him home. Come on, get showered and I'll drive you back."

 

It was Luis' voice, and Leo finally moved his hands from his face. He felt tired, broken. He took Luis' hand and let him pull him up to his feet.

 

*

 

Leo wished he knew what to do. Was it better to leave him alone? He called him a few times the next day. It was Saturday and they had the day off before their trip to Anoeta the next day. But Neymar didn't reply. He texted him:

 

_Please call me_

 

But he didn't reply or call. He called again in the afternoon, and finally Rafinha answered the phone.

 

"I'm sorry, I just want to make sure he's okay," Leo quickly said.

 

"He's okay," Rafa said gently, "but stop calling him. He can't hold it together if you keep calling him!"

 

So he stopped calling him. 

 

Later in the afternoon, Geri called him.

"You're not going to have a public breakdown, but I know when you're unhappy sweetheart," he said.

 

"I'm just worried about him," Leo replied.

 

"And I'm worried about _you._ "

 

"Me? Don't worry about _me._ "

 

"Why? Just because you don't show it, you think I don't know when you're all fucked inside?"

 

"I'll be okay."

 

"Come over."

 

"Why?"

 

"Or shall I come over?"

 

"No Geri. I'll be fine."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Yes,"

 

Now he had to be mentally ready for the match the next day. They were flying to San Sebastian in the morning. He had to steel himself. And Neymar had to, too. That's why he resisted the urge to drive to his house, even to call him again. He let him be. Because they both needed to be okay the next day.

 

*

 

"Neymar has had an accident."

 

Leo felt like his soul was leaving his body. Everyone was talking at once, and yet he couldn't make out what anyone was saying. It was all colours and blurs and sounds. Heart pounding in his chest. He wasn't sure how long it lasted, he couldn't say how much time elapsed between hearing the news and Neymar arriving - completely unscathed.

 

He walked in, looking a bit shaken, a bit sheepish. And everyone erupted into relieved cheers. Everyone seemed to rush forward at once, to ask him questions, check if he was really okay.

 

"I'm totally okay," he was saying, sounding embarrassed, "I just lost control of my car. The road was slippery and..."

 

And Leo was frozen. Frozen in fear. He realised he had been plastered against the same wall for god knows how long. At least he could hear people now, hear words, make out what was being said, what was happening. He wasn't sure what had happened to him just then. Some kind of shock-induced hallucinatory state?

 

He just knew that he was full of fear, and it was deeply visceral. He listened for the tone of his voice, his eyes scanned Neymar's face - a little flushed, a little shaken - and his body. Everything was okay. He was perfectly fine.

 

"Let's go," someone was saying, "time to board."

 

Leo peeled himself off the wall. His bones ached, his muscles were sore like he'd been clenching them forever. Luis put an arm around him and dragged him forward.

 

"Idiot!" Luis said, ruffling Neymar's hair as they passed.

 

Leo glanced in his direction and caught his eye. Neymar looked at him straight, directly. Like he was trying to transmit something. Leo could feel it. It was fear. He was scared. He was trying to convince everyone he was fine, he was perfectly fine, but Leo could feel his fear. His heart started pounding again. He opened and closed his mouth. Neymar swallowed thickly and bit his lip. It was like they both couldn't find the words. Neymar dropped his gaze to the ground and turned away.

 

*

 

It was an ugly feeling. The way they were being outplayed. Maybe this stadium really was cursed for them. But they had to find a way through. The first half of the match against Real Sociedad had been appalling. The second half was not much better. And then they scored. A crazy, ridiculous goal.

 

He glanced over at Neymar. It must be the first time that they hadn't spoken to each other before a match. Leo had hugged everyone before they started, including Neymar. But they hadn't said anything to each other. 

 

It didn't matter. That indescribable synchronicity he had with Neymar, Leo realised it couldn't be broken that easily. As soon as he glanced over at Neymar, and Neymar glanced back at him, he knew it was going to happen. Something was going to happen, and Neymar was going to make it happen with him.

 

He watched in awe as Neymar blasted through the opponents' defense. Space was appearing in front of him as players moved around. There was the tiniest window of opportunity, and it was already disappearing as the defenders started closing in.

 

In that split second, into that slice of space, Leo ran like hell, and Neymar's pass arrived. He didn't have to think. He kicked the ball into that space that only he could see, and only Neymar could have envisioned. And it was in. They were still having a horrible game, but they were level.

 

He ran to celebrate, and Neymar's eyes stared at him blazing bright. He jumped into his arms. He felt Neymar's arms closing around him. The breath leaving him.

 

_This._

Whatever this was. A kind of connectedness that was greater than words. There could be no words for this.

 

Neymar pressed his face into his shoulder. Leo thought he heard him whisper _Leo._ He couldn't be sure. There was no time. They had to do more. Much more.

 

In the end, they were lucky to escape with a point. And it was the ugliest feeling in the world. They were exhausted, and doubtful about themselves. Jordi was injured, Geri was clearly in pain although he tried to brush it off. Everyone else was shattered, mentally and physically. Leo didn't like the way everyone tried to give him credit for rescuing a point. It was as if everyone else was at fault except him. And he couldn't accept that. But no one could really understand him.

 

He went to the very back of the bus and slumped down by himself. He wondered who would dare to come and sit with him. Probably Masche, and they would just sit in silence. Geri needed to vent, and he wouldn't pick Leo for that. Luis was busy talking to his wife on the phone. 

 

Leo closed his eyes as the bus began to move. He couldn't wait to be back home and forget this day.

 

He sensed someone slipping into the seat next to him. He took a deep breath and the faint smell of cologne was unmistakable. It was him, his partner, his mirror. And the only one who could understand him. Leo sighed and relaxed into his seat.

 

He could feel Neymar fidgeting a little in his seat before he settled down. And then he felt a touch on his hand. Leo opened his palm out and let Neymar thread his fingers slowly through his. 

 

*


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay loves, here it is, the final chapter. It is very, very long and I hope an enjoyable read. Thank you everyone for your kudos and, especially, for your wonderful comments. They make it all worth it. ;)

"I'm just thinking though, why did he get  _so mad_?"

 

"Hmm yes, I wonder why?"

 

"You should have seen him. It wasn't just normal anger. It was like a nervous breakdown."

 

Leo felt his hands go sweaty and shaky at the memory of how Neymar had shouted -  _shrieked_  - that Leo didn't give a fuck about him. How could Neymar say that,  _how could he_?

 

"Hey."

 

Leo looked up and offered a weak smile to Anto. She had brought Thiago over and they'd fallen into conversation while their son napped in the corner of the living room. It was a warm day and they lay sprawled out on the floor like a couple of teenagers, just talking. 

 

"Why did he get so mad?" Leo repeated, feeling a headache coming on.

 

"Right, why? And he was making out with some guy in the club?"

 

"Yeah he was!"

 

"But then...he came over. Right?"

 

"Yep." 

 

"In the middle of the night."

 

"He said it was to give me back my wallet."

 

"But it wasn't necessary to come just then, was it?"

 

"No, I guess not."

 

"And didn't he say he wanted to tell you something?"

 

"Yeah...he did."

 

"I mean, obviously he didn't go home with that guy from the club. Right?"

 

Leo sat up and stared at Anto. Anto had this knowing look on her face, like she 

was trying to hide a smile.

 

"Anto," he said, "what are you trying to say?"

 

She finally let out her smile and raised her palms up.

 

"You jackass," she said affectionately, "I'm not saying  _anything."_

 

"But you are! You're saying he didn't go home with that guy from the club. You're saying he obviously had something to say to me when he came over. Obviously no one just comes over to return a wallet in the middle of the night. That's what you're saying, right?"

 

Anto sat up and reached out for Leo's hands.

 

"Leo," she said, "you need a therapist. A good one. I might know a good one actually. Very non-judgmental, very..."

 

Leo clutched Anto's hands tightly.

 

"I don't need a fucking therapist! I have you."

 

"That is problematic on so many levels."

 

"Stop it. I should just ask him what he wanted to say, right? That's what I should do."

 

"That would make sense."

 

Leo ran a hand through his hair, wondering where his phone was. At the same time wondering,  _I'm going to ask him right now?!?_

 

Then Thiago suddenly woke up from his nap, and immediately started bounding around the room. It would have to wait.

 

*

_Hey._

_Hey yourself._

_Can I come over?_

_What for?_

_To talk._

_Can't do it right now._

_Oh ok._

_Not because I don't want to._

_Why then?_

_My whole family is here. My sister came with a bunch of her friends. It's mad._

_Oh haha. Okay then._

_I could come over to yours though._

_You could but Anto is here with Thiago._

_Ok maybe some other time then. :)_

_Ok maybe. :)_

_*_

 

Leo kept thinking about it. How he'd woken up in that bus, and his hand was still open and raised upwards, as if he was still holding on to Neymar's hand. But Neymar had quietly slipped away from his side, before he'd had a chance to wake up.

_What did you want to talk about?_

_It's hard to say over text._

_I'm just curious._

_I wanted to ask what you wanted to tell me that night, after the club._

_Ugh._

_What?_

_Just remembered your naked boyfriend._

_You know he's not my boyfriend._

_Slut._

_I know. I'm sorry._

_You don't have to be sorry._

_Anyway what did you want to tell me?_

_It's a bit too late for that now._

_It's not too late._

 

Leo stared at his phone for at least an hour, but Neymar let that one just hang there.

 

*

 

"You know when you're watching a simple romantic comedy or TV show, but then you realise it's too complicated and dramatic and that's not what you signed on for?"

 

It was way too early in the morning for one of Geri's stupid games. Leo felt zombie-like. He couldn't think of the last time he'd had a really good night's sleep. Geri didn't let it go. He kept talking about drama and soap operas and what not.

 

"What Geri?" Leo finally snapped, "can't you find someone else to bother today?"

 

"Actually no," Geri said, his tone getting all serious, "this is about you, so I have to talk to you about it."

 

"What is about me?"

 

Luis came over and sat down next to him. Suddenly Leo felt very hemmed in and pressurised. It didn't seem coincidental that Luis and Geri were on two sides of him, pressing into him, looking at him expectantly.

 

"Leo," Luis said in an exasperated tone, "have you talked to Ney?"

 

"Oh."

 

"Yeah,  _oh_. Don't you need to? Don't you two have things to talk about?"

 

"I guess."

 

"You guess?"

 

As if they had planned it, the two jostled him roughly.

 

"We've been texting a little," Leo admitted in a small voice.

 

Geri groaned.

 

But Luis put his arm around Leo.

 

"Oh yeah? About what?"

 

"About talking."

 

Geri snorted and Luis glared at him.

 

"That's a good start," he said kindly.

 

*

 

"I know I have no right to expect anything!"

 

Of all the places - the training ground. Of all the times - in the middle of training. 

Neymar wasn't ignoring him exactly. But he always seemed to be on the other side of the pitch, in the group that Leo wasn't it. Complete coincidence, Leo tried to convince himself.

 

Then there had been a break in the training and Leo had been too restless to sit down, too tightly wound to talk to anyone. He jogged to the edge of the field and stood close to the sprinklers watering the grass. And on the other side of the spray of water, Neymar was standing with his hands on his hips.

 

And then he'd shouted at him, through the water.

 

"What?" Leo shouted back.

 

"I'm an asshole and I can't expect you to just...I know you saw me in the club with that guy. I know we're not together but I'm sure you didn't like seeing me with someone else."

 

This was utterly ludicrous.

 

"I'm an asshole too," Leo called back. 

 

Neymar grinned and then ducked his head. He raised an arm, as if to hide his face. When he looked up, smiling shyly, Leo was lost for words. They just stared at each other through the spray of water, the sunlight making the suspended droplets of water shimmer in the air.

 

Until, that is, someone noticed them there and turned off the water. And then it was just too stark and too real. Neymar's eyes widened, like a rabbit caught in the headlights, and before Leo could even react he was gone.

 

*

 

"I missed you."

 

Andres smiled.

 

"You're still going to have to do most of the work."

 

Leo put his arm around Andres and squeezed tightly. 

 

"You're magic. We need you.  _I need you."_

 

He loved the way Andres chuckled softly. He loved how he was so damn modest, that after all these years he still didn't get the magnitude of how essential, how transcendent he was. Well the whole world witnessed it in the 60th minute of el clasico when Andres Iniesta came on.

 

It was cheesy to think this way, but Leo felt like he suddenly remembered why he loved football. The way they regained control in the midfield, the way he and Busi and Andres started passing to each other, the way Neymar started combining with Andres on the left, it felt like they were back from some nightmare trip.

 

Still, the game didn't end as they wanted it to, as they deserved. Despite Luis' goal, Sergio Ramos equalised in the very last minute. It was a huge disappointment, they really needed this win. And of course Leo was mad. He was mad at himself for not scoring, mad at all the things that could've gone differently. 

 

And yet, he wasn't  _that_ mad, surprisingly. He felt better about their team. It felt right. It felt like they were on the upswing, that things were going to get better.

Looking around the locker room, he realised that Neymar didn't quite share his sense of optimism. He looked drawn and pissed. He'd been subsituted out, and had watched from the sidelines as Real Madrid equalised. Perhaps he felt that if he'd still been on the pitch, maybe he could have made a difference. Leo knew exactly how that felt. He went over.

 

"Hey."

 

Neymar looked over and the way he tried to smile made Leo's heart ache a little.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

He pointed to Neymar's thigh where, just a few minutes ago, he'd had an icepack strapped.

 

"Yeah I'm fine, just a little strain."

 

"Okay."

 

"Mm hmm."

 

"Come here for a second."

 

Neymar frowned a little in confusion, but he followed Leo out of the room. Leo wasn't even sure what he was doing. He just wanted to get away from the noise of everyone and just... _say_ something.

 

They were out in the corridor, it was empty and Neymar leaned on the wall and looked at him expectantly. 

 

"It's okay, you know?" Leo said softly.

 

Neymar gave him a little lopsided smile. 

 

"You think so?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"You're guaranteeing it?"

 

"Absolutely."

 

Neymar's smile widened.

 

"Well, I guess I should trust you."

 

"You should."

 

Leo reached out to pick up a small piece of grass from the side of Neymar's neck. He didn't mean anything by it, but the way Neymar reacted to the mere brush of his finger on his skin - smile disappeared instantly, eyes fluttered closed, a deep sigh escaped him, and his body slumped against the wall helplessly - made Leo feel like someone was squeezing his heart tightly.

 

His eyes somehow zoomed in on Neymar's full bottom lip, mouth slightly open. He leaned forward and kissed him softly. And Neymar kissed him back, just as cautiously, but Leo could feel the all-consuming fire that they were on the very edge of igniting.

 

He closed his eyes and sucked gently on Neymar's lip. He gently slipped his tongue into his parted mouth, finding his hot tongue. He could hear Neymar's breath quickening as their tongues tangled together slowly and their lips clung together warmly. He didn't put his hands on Neymar, he didn't dare, and Neymar kept his hands to himself too, palms pressed against the wall.

 

And then they heard someone's footsteps ringing down the hallway and separated. Neymar kept his eyes on the ground and Leo stared at his mouth, before finally tearing himself away.

 

*

_So._

_So?_

_So you kissed me._

_I think I did._

_Forgotten already?_

_Impossible._

_What are you doing right now?_

_Getting ready to sleep. You?_

_Same. Tired._

_Me too. You feel better?_

_Yeah, fine._

_You sure?_

_Yeah, it was just a small strain._

_Wasn't talking about that._

_What then? You think I'm upset or something?_

_Yeah._

_How come?_

_I know you._

_Apparently not that well._

_Yeah, I'm an idiot._

_Me too._

_We're both assholes too, right?_

_Right. :)_

_Well so long as we can admit it. :)_

_Leo..._

_Ney..._

_You confuse me._

_I'm sorry._

_You don't have to say you're sorry._

_But I am._

_Still. It's not your fault._

_Will you at least believe me that I never meant to hurt you?_

_I know that! You don't really have to tell me all that._

_I feel like I need to._

_What?_

_Tell you things._

_Hmm I like the sound of that. ;)_

_Ugh not like that!_

_Haha fine!_

****

**_I_ ** _diot._

_:P_

_:)_

_Goodnight Messi._

_Goodnight Junior._

_*_

 

"Do you want to hang out later?"

 

Rafinha suppressed a smile and abruptly stood up and walked away. Leo could feel himself getting hot and red. It had taken all his courage to come up and say that sentence to Neymar, face to face, directly, not via some vague text.

 

Neymar raised an eyebrow, a smile playing about his lips. He was leaning on one of the lockers in the locker room, at the end of the training session.

 

"Hang out where?"

 

"I don't know...we could go somewhere."

 

Just then, Arda barged into the conversation.

 

"Whatever this plan is, I want in!"

 

"Oh, Arda I..." Leo began.

 

"Leo!" Arda pouted, putting his arms around Leo. 

 

Neymar covered his face with both hands and started giggling.

 

"Yes Arda."

 

"Did I score a hattrick last night, or did I not?"

 

"I haven't forgotten."

 

"I think you've forgotten something."

 

"What's that?"

 

"When I first moved here, you told me you'd treat me to a meal if...no,  _when_ I scored a hattrick for Barca!"

 

Leo had no memory of this, but it was certainly possible that such a conversation had taken place.

 

"If you say so," he conceded.

 

"Ney can come along though," Arda added generously, sauntering away.

 

Leo looked at Neymar and they both burst out laughing. 

 

"I didn't know we could make performance related deals with you." 

 

" _You_ can't, you'd bankrupt me," Leo replied.

 

"Are you complimenting me or insulting Arda?"

 

Leo leaned towards Neymar. He was very, very aware that all their teammates were in the room, but he couldn't help it. He put a hand on Neymar's waist, slipping in a finger under his shirt. He could feel Neymar's muscles flex in response.

 

"You know what I mean," he murmured. His face was close to Neymar's and he could hear his breaths, see the beads of sweat above his upper lip, he could smell him. He breathed in deeply and finally tore himself away.

 

In the end, the whole team ended up going out for a meal together. It was nice, because there was a feeling that the team was turning things around. Although last night's match against Borussia Monchengladbach wasn't exactly meaningful, they had played beautifully and that was something great. Neymar sat next to Geri on the other side of the table from Leo, but they often looked over to each other, smiling stupidly, then averting their eyes.

 

Leo knew his teammates were probably noticing all this, but at this point he couldn't bring himself to give a shit.

 

Some people changed seats after the meal was over and they were waiting for coffee, and Neymar came and slipped into the seat next to Leo. Without saying a word, he just leaned his body on Leo's, his head on Leo's shoulder.

 

Someone made a joke about how Arda was ready to replace Neymar on the left wing. Everyone laughed loudly. Leo put an arm around Neymar's waist and pulled him a bit closer. Neymar chuckled.

 

"You don't think that really bothers me do you?" he said softly.

 

"I didn't say it bothers you."

 

"But you do think it bothers me right?"

 

"I...just think, one never knows  _what_ is going to bother you."

 

"And we're not talking about football now, are we?"

 

Leo drew away and turned to face Neymar. His eyes were green and shining as they stared back at him. Leo felt his heart thud-thud-thudding loudly, painfully.

 

"Leo, do you want to hang out later? I could come over to yours?"

 

Somehow Leo found enough strength to pull himself out of this strange haze that 

Neymar's eyes had put him into. He shook his head.

 

"No...I don't think we should..."

 

He didn't miss Neymar's sudden change in posture as he pulled away, back straightening and tensing all at once.

 

"No, no, wait!" Leo panicked and took Neymar's hand in his, "I don't mean we shouldn't hang out. I just mean we shouldn't just jump into...I was actually going to ask you, if you want to hang out tomorrow. Since we have the day off?"

 

He could feel Neymar relaxing, from the tip of his fingers to his whole body. Until his face lit up with a smile.

 

"Oh," he said, looking down.

 

"Yeah, okay? Are you free?"

 

Neymar leaned forward and whispered.

 

"You mean, like a date?"

 

"If you insist on calling it that."

 

"I do."

 

"Okay, a date."

 

"Okay."

 

*

 

It was cold, but the sun was dazzling and the air was fresh. Leo took a deep breath. They hadn't talked much while walking. Suddenly Neymar burst out.

 

"You made me exercise on my day off!"

 

Leo rolled his eyes.

 

"It was a one hour  _walk."_

 

"Up a mountain!"

 

"It's a hill, at best."

 

"Still!"

 

"So you don't like it?"

 

He glanced over at Neymar to see him smiling.

 

"I've been here before."

 

"I know. But I bet you took the cable car."

 

"I did. That's only because no one brought me on, like, a helicopter or something."

 

"Is that what you want?"

 

Neymar giggled and then fell silent.

 

"I like the view," he finally said. 

 

It really was a stunning view of Barcelona, and they could see the harbour with the boats lined up, beautiful blue water shimmering in the distance.

 

"Me too," Leo murmured, "I've always liked this place."

 

"You mean since you moved here? Since you were a kid?"

 

Leo hadn't thought that far back, but he was right. He suddenly felt a little overwhelmed to be standing here with Neymar next to him. It was quiet and peaceful. He felt Neymar brush the back of his hand with his fingers. He looked up to see Neymar looking down at him with a serious expression.

 

"Yeah, I guess since I was a kid," he said.

 

Neymar leaned down as if to kiss him, and then thought better of it, smiling sheepishly instead. He entwined his fingers with Leo's briefly, before letting go. 

 

They walked around for a little bit, more or less in comfortable silence.

Eventually they started walking down.

 

"Hey, this was nice," Neymar said, "I know I was complaining, but I enjoyed it."

 

"Good."

 

"Even though you brought me for a walk."

 

"I don't really know what to do on dates."

 

"You never dated?"

 

"Not really."

 

"Just hook-ups for you, huh?"

 

"You should talk."

 

Neymar scuffed his shoe on the ground a little, falling half a step behind. Leo stopped and looked back.

 

"I feel like there's some unspoken stuff between us here," Neymar said carefully.

 

"No shit."

 

They stared at each other for a bit, before walking again. It was all kind of in jest, but there was something serious in it. Leo felt the tension grow between them, the closer they got to the city.

 

"Um so," he finally spoke, "I thought we could go to this bar I know for some drinks. They have really nice music, I know you love music and it's kind of quiet so no one will bother us. And next to this place is my favourite Argentine restaurant which, I just can't believe you've never been there. I mean hardly anyone goes there who is not from Argentina, but it's really the best and I should have taken you there ages ago. But I never did, and I think it would be amazing if..."

 

"Leo."

 

By this time, they had reached the place where Leo had parked his car. He felt Neymar's hand on his shoulder. He stopped fumbling for his keys and turned to face him.

 

"What? Don't you want to..."

 

"Leo," he cut him off.

 

"What?"

 

"What the fuck are we doing today?"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"What's today all about?"

 

Leo looked around. Luckily, he had parked in a quiet side street and no one seemed to have noticed them yet.

 

"I..." he began, throat drying up painfully, "I just wanted to take you out, instead of just having you come over and..."

 

He trailed off. He somehow found it hard to put it into words that he didn't just want to fall into bed, fuck him, and get confused all over again.

 

"Leo. We can't...we're kidding ourselves if we think we can just skip past all the shit we went through, and just start  _dating,_ as if we just met."

 

Leo nodded miserably. Of course he was right. What the hell was he thinking? He felt like an idiot. But then Neymar put his hands on his waist, with the gentlest, the softest of touches.

 

"Don't get me wrong," he said, voice quiet and tender, "I think it's really, really sweet of you to plan all this stuff. I mean, I can't even believe it. It's so thoughtful, and I'm incredibly touched."

 

"You are?" Leo felt himself flush.

 

Neymar smiled and nodded.

 

"Yeah. But you know we need to talk."

 

"I know."

 

"Okay then. So let's go home and talk."

 

*

 

They sat on opposite sides of the sofa and stared at each other. After a few moments of silence, Neymar started laughing.

 

"What's funny?"

 

"This whole thing."

 

Leo sighed. He didn't know how to start,  _where_ to start. And now Neymar wasn't even taking it seriously. He got up to get some water. He went to the kitchen and let the water run for a while. He got lost in his thoughts as he stared out of the window, the water filling and overflowing from the glass in his hand.

 

He heard Neymar saying something, but he couldn't hear him. He turned the water off and turned around. Neymar was leaning on the door to the kitchen. Leo took a sip of water and set the glass down on the counter.

 

"What?"

 

"Who was that guy, the other night?"

 

"It was...no one."

 

"No one? No one was spending the night here with you?"

 

"It's just someone I've been hooking up with. No one important."

 

"Since when?"

 

Leo shook his head. He leaned on the kitchen counter.

 

"I don't even know. I've known him for a long time. He's always been this on and off hook up. Like I said, it's no one important."

 

Neymar raised his chin, like  _oh._

 

"Ney...I told him I couldn't see him again."

 

"You did?"

 

"Yeah. After you showed up and you left."

 

"You told him then?"

 

"I couldn't stand to have anyone there. I mean I..."

 

Leo closed his eyes.

 

"I...I know you didn't go home with that guy in the club. And even if you did, it was none of my business because I broke up with you. Or did I? I mean, were we even going out? Anyway, I just...I called him on an impulse because I just wanted to forget that I saw you kissing this guy. I'm sorry you had to see his naked butt or whatever."

 

He opened his eyes to find Neymar smiling. He walked into the kitchen and stood on the opposite side of the counter and leaned on it.

 

"It doesn't matter," he said, "you fucked other people. I fucked other people."

 

"It doesn't matter?"

 

"I mean, I didn't like it! And you didn't like it, but that's not the point is it?"

 

"So what's the point?"

 

"Leo, why did you push me away?"

 

And there it was.

 

Leo wasn't sure how long it took before he could speak. But it seemed like a long time. Neymar waited for him to say something, he'd never seen Neymar so patient and still.

 

"Did I?" he finally managed.

 

Neymar shook his head.

 

"It was going well," he said, "Or I thought it was, anyway. I thought we were getting closer, and then you just pulled away."

 

"I wasn't sure you were into me."

 

Neymar bit his lip. He looked like he wanted to shout, be angry, but he controlled himself.

 

"You practically pushed me to go out with that guy who sent me flowers," he said, through gritted teeth.

 

"You didn't  _have to_ go out with him."

 

"I actually _didn't_ go out with him."

 

"You didn't?"

 

"See. You just assume...anyway, it doesn't matter! The point is you push me away, and then you say you can't watch me with other people."

 

"Well that's the truth, I couldn't."

 

"You know the funny thing? The pathetic part?"

 

"What?"

 

"That day, when you said you can't watch me with other people. I actually thought..."

 

Neymar covered his face with his hands.

 

"Hey..." Leo reached out but Neymar flinched away. He uncovered his face.

 

"I thought you were going to say, let's be exclusive. I thought you were finally going to say it. I guess I should say I  _hoped_ you were going to say let's not see other people, let's be together, but then you fucking broke up with me."

 

Leo was speechless.

 

Neymar's eyes filled with tears, and he brushed them away angrily with a fist.

 

"You really broke my heart," he whispered.

 

"I'm sorry," Leo mumbled, and Neymar shook his head.

 

"Don't be sorry..."

 

"Why didn't you say something?"

 

"Like what? It made me lose confidence. I thought you really didn't love me after all."

 

"How could you think I didn't love you?" Leo whispered.

 

And now it was his turn to feel angry.

 

"I don't know! Because you're a robot! It's very hard to know what you're thinking, how you're feeling. But surely it was obvious I loved you? How could it not be?"

 

At some point Neymar had moved around the counter and now was standing directly in front of Leo. He was close to him and angry. Leo was angry too. He could feel his hands shaking, his heart beating loudly.

 

"I guess because I'm an insecure fool," he spit out, "I never thought someone like you could ever love me."

 

"What do you mean someone like me?" Neymar lightly shoved Leo on the shoulder with the palm of his hand, "I fucking worship you! Who knew you were so oblivious..."

 

He shoved him again, lighter, as if the energy had drained out of him. Leo caught his wrist and held on tight.

 

"Just believe that I'm that oblivious," he said finally.

 

"As soon as I met you, Leo. As soon as I met you, I started falling for you."

 

Leo took both Neymar's wrists and pinned them together in front of them. He could feel his body softening, his eyes filling with tears again.

 

"Why didn't you say something?" Leo asked, this time softly, gently.

 

"I tried."

 

"But you always had...other interests. And you flirted with me, like I was just one of your interests."

 

"But Leo. That was the only way I knew how. I'm stupid and young. What's your excuse?"

 

"I'm just stupid."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"How else do you explain letting you go?"

 

Neymar closed his eyes and tears ran down his face. Leo let go of his wrists and pulled him into an embrace. He could hear Neymar's soft sobs, and he could feel his shirt getting wet with his tears.

 

"Why did you break up with me?" Neymar whispered, face buried in Leo's chest.

 

"Why did you let me?"

 

"Why didn't you tell me not to see other people?"

 

"Because I was afraid you'd say no. I was afraid, I was just afraid."

 

They held each other for a while and finally Neymar stopped crying and he looked up.

 

"I'm a fucking mess," he smiled.

 

"You're fucking beautiful."

 

Leo cupped his face in his hand and, before he could say something stupid or silly, bent down and kissed him. Neymar wrapped his arms around Leo's neck, his body pressed as close to him as humanly possible, he wound his leg around his waist. He put his whole body into the kiss.

 

And Leo felt he could die from this kiss. He would either die from lack of breathing, or his heart would explode from the intensity of his feelings.

 

"Remember when I came to see you in the summer, in America? The first time we kissed?"

 

They'd moved to the living room and Neymar was lying between Leo's thighs, leaning back against his chest.

 

"Yeah, I remember."

 

Leo bent down and kissed the side of his neck. He really couldn't help kissing him all over, his neck, his forehead, his shoulder.

 

"That was...I wondered later, could it ever feel that way again?"

 

"And did it?"

 

Neymar turned his face up, and Leo bent down and kissed him on the mouth.

 

"Mmm. It got better."

 

"Oh yeah?"

 

"And did you think I just came to see you for no reason?"

 

"You came to kiss me?"

 

"Well I wasn't thinking that far ahead. I just. I missed you. I just wanted to be with you. I didn't really get it. It was just like a force pulling me to you."

 

Leo trailed his fingers up and down Neymar's arms, smiling to himself as Neymar shivered in response. Neymar had said a lot of things that he needed to mull over. Suddenly he saw the other side. He began to see how Neymar had been trying to get close to him. He'd come to see him in California. After the Copa final, he'd taken a flight just to come and comfort him. Sure, they were friends, but he still went out of his way. And later on in the summer, after Brazil had won the Olympic medal, Neymar had called him instead of celebrating with this teammates. He'd told him that he wanted to be with Leo in that moment.

 

Leo started to think of all the little things Neymar had said and done. How intense things always got when they had sex. He started to realise that he'd been so wrapped up in his own insecurities that he hadn't really noticed all the things Neymar was showing him. Instead he grew more and more insecure, as he convinced himself that Neymar was just in it for the sex. 

 

He turned Neymar around until he was lying on him. Neymar crossed his arms on Leo's chest and rested his chin on them.

 

"Don't look at me like that," Leo murmured.

 

"Like what?"

 

"Like that. With that look."

 

"Why?"

 

"It just makes me feel too many things. It's too much."

 

"Can I kiss you?"

 

Leo nodded. Neymar lifted himself up and bent down over Leo. He kissed him, nibbling lightly all over his lips. Leo put his hands under Neymar's shirt, and stroked his back slowly. And then he remembered.

 

He stopped Neymar by putting a hand on the back of his neck.

 

"I have one last thing. One question."

 

Neymar groaned and backed away, sitting down on the sofa. Leo sat up.

 

"Have you changed your mind? Are you breaking up with me?"

 

"Shut up."

 

"What then?"

 

"I remembered something."

 

"Something awful I did?"

 

"Ney..."

 

"Okay. Tell me."

 

"It was just after you'd come back from Brazil. You had that cut on your face remember?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"We came back here after the match. And we had a great time. And then later you said, we're really good friends..."

 

Leo trailed off, feeling stupid.

 

Neymar seemed to wait for more information.

 

"I did?" he finally said.

 

"Yeah, I know it doesn't sound like a big deal. And I guess it's not. I just..."

 

Neymar looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

 

"You mean to say, you felt like I was saying we're  _just friends._ "

 

"Exactly."

 

"Okay. That's fair enough I guess?"

 

"It is?"

 

Leo felt a little relieved that Neymar was being understanding about it. But then Neymar jumped up from the sofa, clutching his hair.

 

"No! You asshole! You know what? I LITERALLY DON'T EVEN REMEMBER SAYING THAT."

 

"Well that doesn't mean that you didn't say it?"

 

"No but it means that it MEANT NOTHING!"

 

"Ney stop shouting."

 

Leo stood up, and Ney backed away from him, to the other side of the room.

 

"So that's why you started pushing me away? Because I said something dumb while I was literally passing out?"

 

He crossed his arms across his body, looking incredibly vulnerable.

 

"No," Leo mumbled, "I was already insecure, I told you. That was just..."

 

"And that's why you told me I couldn't stay over!" Neymar's voice was trembling, and his eyes were filling with tears again.

 

"But I wanted you to stay!"

 

"And I wanted to stay!"

 

"So why didn't you?"

 

"Because you told me...And yet some random guy who means nothing can stay over with you?"

 

Leo walked across the room and took him in his arms.

 

"Stop it," he whispered, "just stop."

 

"Okay."

 

He felt drained, and he imagined Neymar felt the same way. It didn't matter now. 

 

None of it mattered now.

 

"I was afraid that I was just another fuck to you," he said, with an air of finality.

 

"And I thought you just didn't take me seriously," Neymar replied.

 

"Okay."

 

"Okay."

 

"I don't want to talk anymore."

 

" _You_ don't want to talk anymore? You're the one who..."

 

"Shut up!"

 

This time he kissed him roughly, teeth dragging over his plump mouth. Neymar moaned in response. 

 

"Baby," he breathed out, voice hoarse, "I need you."

 

"Say it again."

 

"I need you. I need you, I need you."

 

"I missed you amor."

 

"I need you to fuck me."

 

Leo stripped Neymar clothes off and lay him down on the plush carpet. The way he looked up at him drove him wild. He parted his thighs and went down. Slowly he pressed his tongue into his entrance. He was overwhelmed with his taste, with his moans, and his hands gripping his hair tight.

 

He didn't care about coming up for air. All he wanted to do was lick him, thrust his tongue in deep. He gripped Neymar's thighs, kneading the firm flesh. He kept his head down, buried in Neymar. He lapped up and down his entrance, firm strokes with the breadth of his tongue, and then swirling motions around it with the tip. The more Neymar moaned, the louder he cried out, and the harder he gripped Leo's hair, the more vigorously he worked on him. He sank his tongue in again and again, savoring the velvety softness and the tight heat. He sucked and nibbled and licked. Finally, when had thrust his tongue deep inside, deeper than he'd ever imagined he could go, Neymar cried out long and hard, his body shuddering violently.

 

Of course he came. Of course it was completely untouched. Leo looked up, couldn't help smirking. Neymar's eyes were hazy with lust.

 

"Shut up," he whispered.

 

"I didn't say anything," Leo whispered back, grinning.

 

Neymar sat up and then got on all fours, and Leo immediately stopped grinning smugly, his heart beating wildly. He sat up, getting on his knees. He stared dumbly as Neymar crawled to him on all fours.

 

He couldn't even unbutton his own jeans. Neymar rolled his eyes and did it for him, pulled his jeans down. His cock was rock hard and Neymar stared at it. He took it in his hand and stroked lightly.

 

"I missed your cock," he said, "You don't know how many times I dreamed about sucking this cock."

 

Leo could only mumble incoherently in response.

 

"I was desperate to feel it inside me. Inside my ass, inside my mouth."

 

Leo closed his eyes. If Neymar kept this up, he was going to come in his hand, and quickly. Luckily, Neymar decided to stop talking. He took his cock in his mouth and Leo shivered at the sensation of his hot mouth.

 

"Mmm," he moaned dirtily, as if he was the one being pleasured, bobbing his head and licking and sucking up and down his shaft.

 

He went deeper, deeper, until Leo could feel his throat muscles contracting tightly around his cock. 

 

" _Oh,"_ he cried out loudly. 

 

Neymar was slurping up and down his cock now, dripping saliva everywhere. He reached up with his hand and pulled Leo's hand, and put it on his head. And as he deepthroated him again, and again, Leo pulled on his hair hard, which made Neymar moan over his cock even more.

 

It was quite a sight, and Leo couldn't help leaning him back and thrusting deeper and deeper inside. His eyes were closed, tears running down his face, and he looked so filthy, so willing and needy. Even more so when he hollowed his cheeks out to allow Leo to thrust in and out. And he fucked his mouth roughly until, with a great rush, he came, spilling hotly inside that mouth.

 

They both collapsed on the floor, unable to speak. After a few moments, Neymar crawled closer and leaned his forehead against Leo's arm.

 

*

 

"I'm yours," Neymar panted, as Leo slammed him against the wall, "whether you want me or not."

 

Leo bent down and bit the soft skin of his shoulder and he writhed and moaned in pleasure. He spread his legs wide as Leo pushed his cock in and out of him.

 

"How could you think I don't want you?" Leo replied, grabbing his hips and slamming into him. 

 

And in answer to that question, Neymar could only laugh and moan at the same time, leaning back and wrapping his arms around Leo's neck

 

How many times had it been? Yet Neymar was still hot and tight and very, very eager. 

 

Leo caressed him all over, rubbing his very hard, erect nipples, biting his ear lobe, and then bending him down, fucking into him with quick thrusts. He was about to come, and he let go. Not caring for once about Neymar coming. There was something freeing about this, just coming as soon as he felt like it. 

 

He liked how his come dripped down Neymar's inner thigh.

 

He turned him around roughly and, he couldn't help himself when he saw Neymar's cock, hard and leaking. He went down on his knees and sucked him off.

 

"Oh Leo," Neymar moaned, placing his knee against Leo's shoulder. It drove him crazy, every little gesture of Neymar's, everything he did with his body.

 

At some point, one of them reminded the other that they did have training the next morning. They had to get at least a few hours of sleep.

 

*

 

"You know I love you, don't you?"

 

They'd reluctantly woken up and dragged themselves out of bed. They'd gotten dressed and were about to head out. Leo stopped at the door and looked at Neymar.

 

"Did I forget that part yesterday?"

 

Neymar giggled.

 

"What part?"

 

"To tell you..."

 

"I would think it was at least implied."

 

"Oh good."

 

Leo moved towards him and pulled him into his arms.

 

"I love you  _cariño,"_ he said, somehow managing to look into Neymar's eyes.

 

And the dazzling smile that Neymar responded with, made everything worth it.

 

* 

 

_That second goal of yours nearly made me come._

_You're disgusting._

_It's not my fault that you're orgasmic._

_Come see me tonight._

_Don't you need rest?_

_Don't you want to be fucked?_

_Is that all I am to you? A fuck?_

_Sometimes that's all there is to it._

_Anyway my friends are visiting so I can't come._

_Fine._

_Except if you can stay up a bit late, maybe I can sneak out after they're asleep._

_How old are you? Are your parents grounding you too?_

_I thought you wanted me to come see you._

_I do. And you will._

_You're very confident hmm?_

_I know you need me._

_I do need you._

_I need you too. I miss you. Stop getting yellow cards._

_I'll try to come over later._

_I don't want to hear about trying._

_Are you ordering me to come over._

_Yes, I am._

_Wow. That's doing something to me._

_You're too easy baby, just too easy._

_You're so right. I'll probably be in your house before you even arrive._

_You're amazing._

_You think so?_

_Yes I do._

_Get some rest baby, you'll need all your energy for later._

_I love you._

_I love you more._

Leo smiled to himself as he put his phone away. He saw Masche headed towards him and felt relieved. He wanted to keep this to himself for now, this flowering of happiness deep inside his chest. He didn't want to talk about it with anyone for now.

 

"Everything okay?" Masche said, as he sat down.

 

"Everything is perfect," Leo replied, closing his eyes.

 

*


End file.
